tigriswolf: (bounce)
Okay, so I met with my advisor yesterday to discuss this upcoming semester. As my only teaching experience has been an observer/TA in a classroom of six 60-90 year olds and tutoring a single student, I asked if she knew of a way to get some experience, to know for sure whether I actually like teaching or not.

As it turns out, there is a class of 85 students in need of an instructor. They’ve been scrambling to fill it and all you need is a Master’s degree and 18 hours of grad-level courses. I currently have 90 hours of grad-level courses and I got my Master’s last August.

So. Extra money and teaching experience.

The first class is on Tuesday.

update

Jan. 8th, 2017 07:43 pm
tigriswolf: (power of a dream)
So tomorrow, I’m going back to work after three weeks off.

School starts on Wednesday.

I did not get any of the writing done over the break that I’d intended to. In fact, I think I wrote maybe a single poem? And that’s it. I just... never felt like writing, so I didn’t. December actually was the best I’ve felt (besides being sick for those few days) since June, and maybe the best I’ve felt emotionally in a long time. Of course, I did spend half of it with no responsibilities except buying presents and paying bills. So it was probably that plus actually taking antidepressants for the first time in my life that led me to feeling good.

But I do feel lighter, emotionally. And hopeful, despite the fuckery in DC.
tigriswolf: (dreamer)
(I apologize for the vagueness! But there are reasons.)



So, my mom is essentially in charge of a large organization, and the places where I and lilsis work are technically part of that organization, except we’re neither of us under her direct chain of command because that would be illegal. She’s been working for this place since before I was born, so pretty much everyone at both my place of work and lilsis’ knows who our mom is. (She’s also apparently terrifying?)

Anyway, today she was on the phone with lilsis (Mom took the afternoon off; lilsis was still at work) and Christmas present drama happened, so Mom said quite loudly into the phone, “Fuck me with a chainsaw!” and lilsis’ officemate heard her. Lilsis’ officemate has only met Mom at lilsis’ wedding, but she obviously has heard a lot of stories, from lilsis and various other people. Mom answers to only two people, and one of them is the governor. Mom has a reputation of do not fuck with me.

Lilsis’ officemate’s reaction was appropriately hilarious and I wish I could've been there.
tigriswolf: (twister)
So, I think my "partner" and I have a fundamental disconnect.

I sent her what I had of Paper 2 because my advisor advised I give the group one more week and see if things improved. We planned to meet tomorrow after receiving feedback over the weekend.

I received feedback that amounted to "this is not ready; keep working and we'll meet later."

I have been working on this paper since early in the summer. I am sick of looking at it and I don't know how to move forward. Which I told her. Because my belief of writing groups is that they help you figure out how to say what you want to say and turn it into something cohesive and great. Right? That's what all the successful groups have been saying.

But. She replied that her thought was that the writing groups are for exchanging 'submission to class' level papers. I don't have that yet. I have until December 1 to get that, which the writing group is supposed to help me do. After her email, I started crying frustrated tears because I don't understand why this isn't working. I keep getting dinged in my history class for not writing scholarly enough, and then this shit in my writing class, and the TA in my anthropology class marking up my formal proposal for all sorts of grammar things when I'm a fucking editor and have never written anthropology stuff before.

Just. Fuck grad school. Fuck it all with fire ants and tabasco sauce.

Anyway. Fundamental disconnect. I've emailed the teacher asking for clarification on what we're supposed to be using the writing groups for.

It's just. I've written about 80000 words of fic since September started. And I've been working on this lit review sine June. It's not even 3000 words, and most of that comes from a paper I cannibalized for this purpose. I've been reading quantitative lit reviews for work for 3 years, and the one I'm writing is supposed to be qualitative. It's different. I need help because I just hate it, now.

I don't even know. Eighty thousands words of fanfic. And that's been easy, it's just flowed (mostly). So why is writing for school so hard? It hasn't always been.

Anyone remember the headache I've had since July last year? It had mostly gone away until this fucking semester. And I don't have dental insurance, and then I have two special needs' cats, and.

Being a grown up is awful and I miss kindergarten every day.

Anyway. Off to write an email explaining how I organized the lit review to see if my partner feels like helping me at all.

update

Sep. 9th, 2014 10:43 pm
tigriswolf: (king of the jungle)
So, today I bought The Epic Love Story of Captain America and Winter Soldier on the way to work, got the okay from my advisor to take another extra semester for my Master's, informed my boss I'd like that extra semester, wrote possibly the saddest (autobiographical) poem I've ever written, posted the poem to LJ, deleted the poem, and then watched The Epic Love Story of Captain America and Winter Soldier after I got home from class.

(Most) Every Tuesday, I sit in with a class of adult literacy student as research for my thesis. Most of them are older than my dad; most of them have grandkids. This morning, for whatever reason, as the teacher talked about grandparents and grandkids, it just really hit me -- I don't have grandparents. I never really have. And, for whatever reason, I really wanted to write about that today, and it turned into a poem.

I can't talk about it with my little sister because she doesn't want to. I won't talk about it with my parents because -- well, it's their parents. And my closest (only) RL life friend had a very close relationship with her grandma, who died fairly recently.

*sigh* So I wrote a poem. I almost cried at work. I think it's the most personal thing I've written in a long time, which is why I deleted it.

I don't know what to do with the poem. I don't want to reread it just as much as I want to.

I guess... what I really want is grandparents. They seem cool.
tigriswolf: (hero's fall)
So, ever since I saw The Epic Love Story of Captain America and Winter Soldier for the first time, I've been making up a story in my head where Winter Soldier is in NYC, heading back to his handlers at the end of a mission, and he comes across a pack of boys picking on a littler boy. Now, that doesn't bother Winter Soldier at all -- but it wakes up a voice in the back of his mind, and what happens is that WS actually kidnaps that kid because all he knows is that he has to protect him.

That kid is Peter Parker.

Today, at work, I finally began writing it -- and the power went out. I hadn't saved the document and I had to head to class before the power came back on, so I don't know if it's recoverable, but I recorded what I could remember on my way to class, and then I began trying to rewrite it with pen&paper, and I even jotted down various ideas of what needs to be fleshed out. But I had a very detailed timeline on the computer, and I know I have yet to remember everything that was on it, which is annoying.

In my head, the story is so epic, and it spans at least ten years (from when WS takes PP, to just after Cap2 ends), and there are so many things that'd need explanation.

Of course, the last time I planned a story this epic, it never got to be more than about 1000 words, but we'll see.
tigriswolf: (lurking lurker who lurks)
So, that idea I posted yesterday? I started it today. I'm maybe a thousand words into it? I ran out of work today. *shrugs*

Also, I finished commentary for 'a taste of lightning'! It can be found here, since I'm not about to break it up to post it here.
tigriswolf: (a surprise)
So, today I looked in the mirror and thought, I actually do have good features.

In February of this year, for pretty much the first time in my life, I actually felt like I might be pretty.

When I see my shadow anymore, I have a figure and I smile every time.

I currently have a full-time job where I edit the Bible of engineering, and then a part-time job where I'll keep editing or laying out documents, whatever is given to me.

I have an idea for my thesis and I started researching it today.

[livejournal.com profile] tigris_lilsis and I are all set to move within the next couple weeks, though we haven't started packing yet.

Y'all, life is looking good.
tigriswolf: (God-as-a-Cat)
So, I got an email with this prompt: Today is the most important day, you are the only one that can do anything with “your” day. Your happiness depends on you. Give me your best 12 lines…


This is what I wrote:


Today you wake from a nightmare;
the zombies were out again last night.
At least this time they weren't joined by vampires.

Brush your teeth, dress, brush your hair.
Make yourself into a lovely lie
and go look for a job. Again. Like always.
Hey - maybe this time you'll get lucky.
(Probably not. You gave up hope ages ago.)

Every day without zombies is a good day.
(Right?)

Are we happy now?
Keep that smile on your face.

update

May. 22nd, 2013 11:21 pm
tigriswolf: (CloudMonster)
1. I have, in fact, found a full time job as an editor (well, assuming I pass the drug test, and there is no earthly reason why I wouldn't). It's in the same building where [livejournal.com profile] tigris_lilsis and [livejournal.com profile] tigremere work, except they'll be doing engineering type things.

2. Also, [livejournal.com profile] tigris_lilsis and I have an apartment lined up; we should be moving in around the middle of June. That is both exciting and terrifying, because I do want my own space. But still. Terrifying.

3. Did I mention my 3.6 GPA for my first semester of grad school? I still can't quite believe it.

4. My great-aunt's memorial is this weekend. Then we're going to the beach next week to scatter part of her ashes in the Gulf of Mexico. The rest of her ashes will eventually be brought to Hawaii and scattered in the ocean there. It's, apparently, where she was the happiest.

5. I really enjoyed Star Trek Into Darkness, despite all the flaws. What I want now is a movie where Benedict Cumberbatch and Tom Hiddleston play criminal brothers. That'd be awesome.

6. I've been working on commentary for the entirety of 'a taste of lightning.' Would anyone be interested in that? I now want to do commentary for my Klaine serial killer AU, and possibly 'I was thinking of a son' or the Glee Sky High AU. *shrugs* Any requests?

7. So... a while back, I started a fic where the new Spider-man and Skyfall's Q were Nari and Váli, which made them Loki's kids. I think I got a thousand or so words into it and then life happened and I forgot about it. Does that sound like something I should continue?
tigriswolf: (mushroom head)
1. I'm in grad school now. I think it's going pretty good. Politics of Literacy is already pissing me off because of so much stuff I didn't know.

2. I'm back as assistant editor at the place I worked last May to November. They're also paying for me to go to grad school. I won't actually get a paycheck until Feb 21, though.

3. So, I created a tumblr awhile ago that I did nothing with. I'm now posting pictures to it. Every picture is one I took, though there are hundres more I'm not posting. *shrugs* After reading and writing, photography is my favorite thing.

4. I hurt my knee in late November 2012. The doctor told me I had tendonitis and prescribed weight loss, so I joined weight watchers at the end of the year.

5. I bought Teen Wolf for myself earlier this month because so many of my favorite authors write fic for it, and the gifs intrigued me. I've spent the past week devouring fic on Ao3. Stiles is awesome. (I haven't started season 2 yet, though.)

6. No, really, Politics of Literacy is severely pissing me off. Also, I'm going to have to read Hunger Games for Fantasy and Folklore and I really don't want to.

7. I haven't been writing much. The closest thing I have to a grandmother is still dying. I spend some days in a haze of what I think might be depression; that apparently runs in the family. I'm passive-aggressive a lot and should work on that. I sometimes think about driving my car off the road and into the creek I pass over every day, to and from school/work. *shrugs* (I might be in a funk right now.)

2 things

Dec. 9th, 2012 10:01 am
tigriswolf: (mushroom head)
1. Happy birthday, [profile] tigris_lilsis! You're getting so old, dude.

2. I'm in a degree program now! So my previous place of work may hire me back and pay for grad school. *dances* I've gotten into grad school twice!

*sighs*

Nov. 30th, 2012 09:26 pm
tigriswolf: (owlet)
So, it turns out that November wasn't much better than October. Here's hoping for December.

life

Nov. 1st, 2012 08:46 am
tigriswolf: (supercroc)
(Be warned - mentions of thoughts of self-harm. I'm better now.)



Hey, y'all.

So, I think the last time I went this long without posting, I had fallen off a horse. This time, it only felt like it.

The day before I took the GRE, I received a comment on one of my fics. That comment really bothered me. My immediate reaction was to either grab a knife from the kitchen and slice up my arms or delete everything I've ever put on the internet.

Instead of doing either of those, I called my older sister and she talked me down.

The next day, I took the GRE and finished two hours early. My preliminary scores, so helpfully given by the computer, didn't bother me because I knew I'd kicked ass on the essay.

A couple weeks later, before getting my final scores or my acceptance to grad school, I learned that I'd applied to the wrong program: I applied as a non-degree applicant because it doesn't require the GRE, and I'd been told that my employers would pay for it, anyway.

Nope. The same lady who told me that informed me that I was mistaken. So, I had to reapply, pay the fee again, and the late fee, too, because it was after the deadline.

Then I got my GRE score: one point too low for anything but probation in a degree program - which means no financial aid, and no assistantship where my employers pay for almost all of it. And I got a three out of possible six on the essay, which made me wonder if I’m not as good a writer as I thought.

I realize that if this is the worst thing I ever have to deal with, I am a supremely lucky person. But October has been a bad month.

I haven’t really missed posting to LJ, either. I’ve been working on one fic for the past few weeks and updating it at Ao3 and ff.net, in-between freaking out about grad school and getting a second job. (And traveling three hours for a game that got cancelled. That was a fun day.) My favorite part of LJ, at the moment, are all my icons. I’m in a sort of funk, I think.

Anyway. Whether or not my employers pay for it, I am going to grad school next spring. I was accepted into the non-degree program and I have an upcoming appointment with someone to talk about classes. My excitement has waned due to all the drama, but once I get past that, I’m pretty sure I’ll be excited again.

So, yeah. The reason I didn’t post anything for most of the month was due to that comment; I’m not sure if it was to punish myself or prove that I could, and I’m not sure what that reviewer wanted to achieve except to make me feel horrible. If that was her aim, she hit it out the ballpark, and I’m glad my older sister answered the phone; my mom and little sister didn’t, and I was increasingly hysterical.

Next, I’ll post the header and link to the fic I’ve been working on. But I’m not sure if I’ll posting anything but links to Ao3 from now on.

life

Nov. 1st, 2012 08:46 am
tigriswolf: (supercroc)
(Be warned - mentions of thoughts of self-harm. I'm better now.)



Hey, y'all.

So, I think the last time I went this long without posting, I had fallen off a horse. This time, it only felt like it.

The day before I took the GRE, I received a comment on one of my fics. That comment really bothered me. My immediate reaction was to either grab a knife from the kitchen and slice up my arms or delete everything I've ever put on the internet.

Instead of doing either of those, I called my older sister and she talked me down.

The next day, I took the GRE and finished two hours early. My preliminary scores, so helpfully given by the computer, didn't bother me because I knew I'd kicked ass on the essay.

A couple weeks later, before getting my final scores or my acceptance to grad school, I learned that I'd applied to the wrong program: I applied as a non-degree applicant because it doesn't require the GRE, and I'd been told that my employers would pay for it, anyway.

Nope. The same lady who told me that informed me that I was mistaken. So, I had to reapply, pay the fee again, and the late fee, too, because it was after the deadline.

Then I got my GRE score: one point too low for anything but probation in a degree program - which means no financial aid, and no assistantship where my employers pay for almost all of it. And I got a three out of possible six on the essay, which made me wonder if I’m not as good a writer as I thought.

I realize that if this is the worst thing I ever have to deal with, I am a supremely lucky person. But October has been a bad month.

I haven’t really missed posting to LJ, either. I’ve been working on one fic for the past few weeks and updating it at Ao3 and ff.net, in-between freaking out about grad school and getting a second job. (And traveling three hours for a game that got cancelled. That was a fun day.) My favorite part of LJ, at the moment, are all my icons. I’m in a sort of funk, I think.

Anyway. Whether or not my employers pay for it, I am going to grad school next spring. I was accepted into the non-degree program and I have an upcoming appointment with someone to talk about classes. My excitement has waned due to all the drama, but once I get past that, I’m pretty sure I’ll be excited again.

So, yeah. The reason I didn’t post anything for most of the month was due to that comment; I’m not sure if it was to punish myself or prove that I could, and I’m not sure what that reviewer wanted to achieve except to make me feel horrible. If that was her aim, she hit it out the ballpark, and I’m glad my older sister answered the phone; my mom and little sister didn’t, and I was increasingly hysterical.

Next, I’ll post the header and link to the fic I’ve been working on. But I’m not sure if I’ll posting anything but links to Ao3 from now on.

life

Sep. 17th, 2012 06:39 pm
tigriswolf: (utter beauty)
.

So, evacuating 30,000 people in a timely, orderly manner? Is actually kinda hard.

Who knew.
tigriswolf: (howling wolf)
1. I'm really bummed The Finder wasn't renewed. It's such a cute show.

2. I just finished my first week working as assistant editor at an engineering research facility. It’s only twenty hours a week (the position was designed for a graduate student, who wouldn’t be able to work full-time. The hours will probably multiple as more things needing to be edited come in.) I had a lot of fun. (I've happily left the place that fired me for the rule so many others flaunted.)

3. So, I wrote some more in the Harry Potter/Merlin fic, but I hit a snag: what plot do I actually want to have? The whole reason I started it was to see Merlin set the dragons free. That’s already happened. Any thoughts?

4. I saw The Avengers again! I really like Loki. And Hawkeye. And Black Widow pwns all, yo.

5. I’m working on two Avengers fics. In one, spoiler for film ) In the other, someone kills Thor while wearing Loki’s shape. I have so many ideas! I love that movie.

6. About my health issues – I’m not a hundred percent better, but I am very improved. As best we can figure, it was an inner ear virus that threw off my balance. The only cure? Time.

7. Give me Avengers recs, please! Or excited squeeing. I’ll take either.
tigriswolf: (to the end)
So, last Sunday I had the worst cramp I've had in a long time. A week ago today I had a migraine, terrible cramps, felt over all like crap, and had to stop and catch my balance a few times so that I wouldn't fall.

Tuesday was worse. Tuesday I had to call for a ride home from work and saw my neurologist, who told me to go home, rest, and see if it passed.

It hasn't. The problem has grown worse. I saw my neurologist again on Friday and had an MRI today. I've had a headache the whole time and kept having to catch my balance. Every time I stand, I have a moment of vertigo. I tried doing the dishes as an experiment to see what I can do: took three times longer than it usually does and, wow, I felt like shit afterwards.

I haven't been to work since Tuesday. I can't drive. I almost fell down after bringing one load of groceries in from the car.

But I had a job interview two weeks ago and recieved a voicemail during my MRI - they'd like to talk about me going to work for them. And I can't drive right now. I have no idea what's wrong with me, the doctor has no idea, and if the MRI doesn't tell us anything? What the fuck do we do then?

So, yeah. I'm a little bit scared. My head still fucking hurts, and I'd really like to be able to walk from one room to the other without having to grab something or rest against the wall.

On the plus side, according to the lab's scale, I've lost a couple pounds. Booyah.
tigriswolf: (the hands that held the world)


a) You know what I just got a craving for?  Some good old-fashioned overprotective big brother Dean Winchester fics.  How odd is that?  I kinda wanna rewatch seasons 1&2 now.

b) Remember that job I got fired from last year?  Yeah, I'll be going back, in a different section, doing something different, the week after next.  If all goes well, I'll be there till the end of June/start of July.

c) Last week (on Mardi Gras!) the temp agency I signed on with sent me to a call center.  The four days I was there, I hated it more than the movie theater/department store combined.  I actually called [livejournal.com profile] tigremerein tears.  It was bad.

d) I've been working on the Highlander/Avengers movieverse crossover ( 'a taste of lightning' ) recently.  It's at ff.net and Ao3 at the moment.  I'm really not sure when I'll move it here.  Anyway, the research I've conducted into Norse mythology has made me like Loki even more.  Fuck, but he and his kids got a raw deal.  The Norse gods were a bunch of douchebags.

e) I'm waiting to recieve the final go-ahead on the Klaine Princess Diaries fic from the beta.  Then I've got to figure out how to put navigation bars and the header into it in HTML.   It's the longest thing I've ever set out to write, and I really do love it.

f) What kind of jobs involve mythology? 

g) I'm twenty-four now.  [livejournal.com profile] tigremere and [livejournal.com profile] tigris_lilsis invented a cake for me.

update!

Jan. 22nd, 2012 11:16 pm
tigriswolf: (God-as-a-Cat)








1. In This Means War, why don’t they just both break it off when they realize she’s been cheating on each of them with the other?  I’ll still see it, of course.

2. So, I pretty much always hate Will Schuester.  That’s a given.  So maybe I’m just a little sensitive to his douchenozzelness, but it really bothered me when he used the ‘how can we ever have kids with all their germs’ card on Emma.  Why do they have to have kids?

3. I joined a temp agency in December.  I spent all of last week on my feet, as a cashier at a college bookstore.  It was actually kind of fun, except for my aching feet.

4. I’ve been reading a lot of Harry Potter fic lately.  They’ve all kind of run together.  Of course, this led to a continuous story in my head about Eames&Arthur rescuing Harry from the pedophile ring Vernon sold him to and adopting him.  They rename him Eddie Colmes; Eames is always a wizard, in all the variations, but Arthur is sometimes a muggle.  In the most recent version, he was actually Grindlewalde reincarnated.  Eames is also occasionally Merlin. *shrugs*  Eddie doesn’t remember his life as Harry, and at first, Eames doesn’t realize who the boy Arthur saved is.  But he gets a letter as Edward Colmes, is sorted into Slytherin (Ravenclaw was a close second), and turns Hogwarts on its head.  There’ve been a few different versions.  *hee*  Eddie calls Arthur 'Da' and Eames ' Dad,' and he really impresses people with how badass they are.

5. I haven’t added anything to the Klaine Princess Diaries fic in a week.  I’m really unhappy with the last part and haven’t wanted to look at it. *sigh*

6. I’d almost lost interest in Revenge until I watched the last two episodes back-to-back.  Dude, it’s awesome.

7. Also, I’ve been doing various Glee AUs in my head, but they always start the same way:  all the McKinley students are taken hostage and for some reason (it varies), the gunmen want Kurt Hummel.  Sometimes it’s because his mom is Loki, or she was the beloved daughter of an international criminal, or she was an alien (so, kinda like Loki?).  Anyway.  It’s fun.

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