Understanding - SN fic - PG

[tigriswolf]

Title: Understanding
Fandom: SN
Disclaimer: not my characters.  just for fun.
Warnings: spoilers for "Devil's Trap"
Pairings: none
Rating: PG
Wordcount: I meant this to be a hundred word drabble. It’s about three times too long.
Point of view: second

Watching them, you think you might understand about love. Father has explained it to you before, as best he could, but it still remained an abstract. You replay your host’s memories, look at her family, and you still don’t understand.

You have never been human, but Father was. He knows. He feels. You adore him, yet you do not love him. You would sacrifice yourself for him, for his cause, but you don’t think it’s love. It’s respect, maybe.

But they, the brothers, Winchesters, enemy—every word they spoke to each other, every look they shared, every glancing touch…

You feel your death approaching, know there will be no reprieve this time, and finally comprehend something no true demon should be able to.

You always jeered at humans and their paltry emotions, and your host could not understand why.

But you had never been human. Demons do not have emotions.

Dean Winchester snarls in your host’s face I lied and you feel fear, anger—shock. He looks up at his brother, and even through the rage he feels towards you, you still see the love of his brother.

You’ve never felt love except through the girl’s memories. Suddenly, you wish you could.

There will no escape from this, or his burning hazel eyes. And even if Father loves you, you know you’ve just been sacrificed for his plans.

Regret is a paltry human emotion, and beyond you. But satisfaction—you can feel that.

Even though he used you like this, to get that pathetic brat, even though he loves his crusade more than he ever loved you, he will avenge you.

You meet Dean’s gaze just before Sam finishes his chant and you understand him. As you’re torn from her, thrown into an abyss you’ll never escape, satisfaction nearly drowns you.

He’s killed you. But Father will make him bleed for it.

Comments

[eboniorchid.livejournal.com]

Huh. This is a really interesting, serious take on what demon/human interaction (as opposed to my rather humorous bit of drabbledy goop). I'm intrigued by the idea of the demon-in-Meg trying to understand love and also about your suggestion about her father once being human.

Do you remember what your speculation regarding that one was? That he was a human-turned-demon by some other demon or somesuch? Just curious.

[tigriswolf]

I honestly don't remember. I've had so many theories...

Thank you for reading!