Tearing the chain that binds him to his brother - SN drabble - PG

[tigriswolf]

 

Title: Tearing the chain that binds him to his brother
Fandom: “Supernatural”

Disclaimer: not my characters; just for fun. Title from Goethe.

Warnings: SPOILERS for 4.14

Pairings: none stated

Rating: PG

Wordcount: 370

Point of view: third
 

 

 

 

            He’s not asleep. Can’t sleep. Not that he thinks Dean’ll do anything to him; the venom is out of their systems, and the adrenaline has faded away, and Bobby gave them a clean bill of health. 

            No, Dean’s not a danger anymore. And if Sam had just answered the phone when he called, he would’ve met up with Dean somewhere and the siren wouldn’t have got a hold of him.

            Shit. Sam screwed up and they both could have died because of it.

            Dean mutters something, face smooshed into the pillow. It’s an extraordinary show of trust, considering…

            Would Dean have done it? Slammed that axe into his head? 

            (I shot you four times, and I never apologized)

            His eyes—Sam had never seen them like that before, crazed and angry and panicked. He was fighting, they both were; the siren’s pull felt like when Azazel’s daughter crawled up in him and took him for a ride.

            Dean was fighting, and he still took that axe.

            (You went to Hell and I never thanked you)

            Sam wants to say I’m sorry. Sam wants to say What I’m doing is right and you’ll understand someday. Sam wants to say I love you so much I’d go to war for you.

            Sam wants to say I love you so much I can’t stop now.

            Sam wants to say It’s almost over and everything will be better when I’m done.

            His phone vibrates beneath his hand. He doesn’t even look at the caller ID: it’s Ruby. It’s always Ruby, on Lilith’s trail. Kill Lilith and it’ll be done. 

            (You died for me, and I can’t even find the monster that took you)

            Sam bites his lip; he knows better than that. Killing Lilith won’t change anything, except to make him feel better. Killing Lilith won’t erase those four months, or the year before it, or any part of the quarter century preceding that. 

            Dean rolls over and flings an arm in Sam’s direction. He’s not asleep, eyes flickering open to meet Sam’s gaze. 

            Neither says a thing. There’s nothing to say except I’m sorry and I meant it, but not like that and I love you, man. 

            (I’m sorry, but I can’t stop now.)

           

Comments

oh man...

[catdancerz.livejournal.com]

it just never gets better for them, does it...

Re: oh man...

[tigriswolf]

No, it really really doesn't. *weeps*

[dreamlittleyo.livejournal.com]

This is gorgeous, my dear! Beautifully done!

the siren’s pull felt like when Azazel’s daughter crawled up in him and took him for a ride.
BEAUTIFUL!

(You died for me, and I can’t even find the monster that took you)
*wibbly eyes*

I can has slashy version now yes/no? *cheeky grin or innocent smile, take your pick*

[tigriswolf]

Slashy? Hmm...

Thank you for reading!

[alleysweeper.livejournal.com]

Gorgeous!

[tigriswolf]

Thank you!

[caffienekitty]

*stamps with giant 'CANON' stamp* Yes. This. *nods*

[tigriswolf]

*twirls*

[acidquill.livejournal.com]

OH JESUS. This is...it's fucking perfect, darlin.

[tigriswolf]

*blushes* Thank you so much!

[pixel-0.livejournal.com]

Yes. This. Exactly.

I particularly loved the little sections set aside in the parentheses.

So, so good. :)

[tigriswolf]

I like those, too.

Thank you!

[monicawoe.livejournal.com]

This is absolutely beautiful.

[tigriswolf]

Thank you so much!

[jillybean-6939.livejournal.com]

Ow the angst!! That was a really nice fic!
Thanks you! :D

[tigriswolf]

Thank you for reading!

[tahirire.livejournal.com]

Yes this.

*adds to recc list*

[tigriswolf]

Thank you!

[1grl-revolution.livejournal.com]

This is so beautifully written. Aaaawwwww, boys! *sniffles*

[tigriswolf]

Thank you so much!

[jellicle.livejournal.com]

It's epic, like Homer, but an eternal tragedy, like Oedipus.

Oh boys, so much ache.

Wonderful ficlet, darling.

[tigriswolf]

Thank you!

[mimblexwimble.livejournal.com]

This should have been in the show... don't know how they'd have done it, but yes. Yes, yes, yes. THIS.

[tigriswolf]

Oh, thank you! *twirls*

[fannishliss.livejournal.com]

recc'd from Tahiri ---

and I totally see why, because you nailed it!!

I know exactly how Sam feels, lying there awake with his thoughts running a million miles an hour, all conflicted and sorry and desperate, wanting to know what to say to Dean, but knowing there's nothing he CAN say, and committed to the path he's on, for all the right reasons....poor sad Sam!!

I love the format and I especially love this:

Sam wants to say I love you so much I’d go to war for you.
Sam wants to say I love you so much I can’t stop now.
Sam wants to say It’s almost over and everything will be better when I’m done.

The look in his eyes when the siren died...! meep!

great job speaking for him!

[tigriswolf]

Thank you!

[erinrua.livejournal.com]

Wow. Damn, girl. The things you do with words. This is so perfect and so achy and so them. I just ... how do they ever come back from this? Can they? Can they keep making pretty lies until the lies come true, and someday they really are okay?

Because they do love each other, and I think everything they're doing to each other, every wound and blow they give, is because each is so terribly afraid for the other. *sighhh*

And this:
(I’m sorry, but I can’t stop now.)
That's Sam. And that's what scares me.

:-(

Thank you for your beautiful words.

[tigriswolf]

Thank you for reading!

[goodbyebird]

I really liked this, especially the added parts in parentheses. Those boys really fo need to learn how to open up and share, but then again, they wouldn't be our boys anymore.

Thanks for sharing :)

[tigriswolf]

Thank you for reading!

[edenemilie.livejournal.com]

LOOVVEE ITT!! you are freakin fantastic darlin'!

[tigriswolf]

Thank you so much!