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tigriswolf) wrote2009-02-05 10:20 pm
Tearing the chain that binds him to his brother - SN drabble - PG
Title: Tearing the chain that binds him to his brother
Fandom: “Supernatural”
Disclaimer: not my characters; just for fun. Title from Goethe.
Warnings: SPOILERS for 4.14
Pairings: none stated
Rating: PG
Wordcount: 370
Point of view: third
He’s not asleep. Can’t sleep. Not that he thinks Dean’ll do anything to him; the venom is out of their systems, and the adrenaline has faded away, and Bobby gave them a clean bill of health.
No, Dean’s not a danger anymore. And if Sam had just answered the phone when he called, he would’ve met up with Dean somewhere and the siren wouldn’t have got a hold of him.
Shit. Sam screwed up and they both could have died because of it.
Dean mutters something, face smooshed into the pillow. It’s an extraordinary show of trust, considering…
Would Dean have done it? Slammed that axe into his head?
(I shot you four times, and I never apologized)
His eyes—Sam had never seen them like that before, crazed and angry and panicked. He was fighting, they both were; the siren’s pull felt like when Azazel’s daughter crawled up in him and took him for a ride.
Dean was fighting, and he still took that axe.
(You went to Hell and I never thanked you)
Sam wants to say I’m sorry. Sam wants to say What I’m doing is right and you’ll understand someday. Sam wants to say I love you so much I’d go to war for you.
Sam wants to say I love you so much I can’t stop now.
Sam wants to say It’s almost over and everything will be better when I’m done.
His phone vibrates beneath his hand. He doesn’t even look at the caller ID: it’s Ruby. It’s always Ruby, on Lilith’s trail. Kill Lilith and it’ll be done.
(You died for me, and I can’t even find the monster that took you)
Sam bites his lip; he knows better than that. Killing Lilith won’t change anything, except to make him feel better. Killing Lilith won’t erase those four months, or the year before it, or any part of the quarter century preceding that.
Dean rolls over and flings an arm in Sam’s direction. He’s not asleep, eyes flickering open to meet Sam’s gaze.
Neither says a thing. There’s nothing to say except I’m sorry and I meant it, but not like that and I love you, man.
(I’m sorry, but I can’t stop now.)
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