tigriswolf | Silence - SN fic

Title: Silence
Fandom: SN
Disclaimer: Not my characters. Just for fun.
Warnings: AU for pilot
Pairings: Sam/Jessica
Rating: PG-13
Wordcount: 420
Point of view: third

Sam steps under the shower fully clothed and turns the water on as hot as he can stand it. She follows him and wraps her arms around him; he clutches her hands and sobs silently into the spray of scalding water.

Her arms tighten and she’s muttering something he can’t make out. Slowly, he sinks down to his knees and she falls with him; he turns and pulls her close. She curls up in his arms and he understands her small litany to be, I’m sorry, I’m sorry, I’m so so sorry.

He cups her face and says, It wasn’t your fault. Jess… it wasn’t your fault.

She looks up and meets his eyes, tears mixing with the water running down her face. Not for the first time, he sees just how like his brother’s her eyes are, and it hits him deep inside. He leans forward and rests his forehead against hers.

They remain like that until the water is freezing and it seems there are no more tears to cry.

Sam calls Dad the next day and leaves a voicemail he can’t remember. The funeral is small and full of lies. None of Dean’s few friends—old contacts of Dad’s—are there, just Sam and Jessica and the preacher.

There is nothing to say. Sam holds Jessica tight and lets the preacher’s voice wash over him, and knows Dean died how he wanted to. How he’d always wanted to.

It was quick and it was brutal, and he took a hit meant for Sam.

Now, days later, standing before an empty coffin, Sam can still smell the fire.

Sam inventories the Impala’s trunk, making note of what needs to be replaced. There’s enough weapons to take a small country and he adds what he’d brought with him to Stanford.

Dean’s necklace is around his neck, all that remains of his brother beyond memory, weapons, and car.

I’m going with you, she says, stepping next to him. In her hands, she holds a duffle bag and her purse. He… he did it for me, too.

Sam turns and cups her face. Okay, he tells her and kisses her gently.

He slams the trunk and walks around the car, sliding into the driver’s seat. Jessica opens the back door and tosses her bags inside, then slips shotgun.

The music is loud, a harsh beat that has an echo in Sam’s memory.

He pulls away from Stanford with only one regret: four years of silence that will haunt him forever.

Silence - SN fic - PG13

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