tigriswolf | the dark heart of a dream - SN fic

Title: the dark heart of a dream

Fandom: “Supernatural”

Disclaimer: the lovely Winchesters aren’t mine. Morgan is, though. The bastard. Just for fun. Title from “Adam Raised A Cain” performed by Bruce Springsteen.

Warnings: pedophilia; non-con; pre-pilot

Pairings: OMC/Dean

Rating: R

Wordcount: 630

Point of view: third

Dean was twelve that winter, a couple months away from teenagedom. He still felt guilt for that night in Fort Douglass, still rarely let little Sammy out of his sight.

But Dean was kept after school one afternoon for a detention—as he told John, the dude totally deserved it—so John picked Sam up that day. They went to an ice cream parlor and talked, father and son, about lessons and cartoons and Sam’s newest obsession, big cats.

At five, they returned to get Dean. Sam bounced in the back as Dean slid next to him—which struck John as odd, since Dean had been sitting shotgun for the past few weeks.

Dean chattered with Sam on the way home, little nothings that made no sense to adults. He never met John’s gaze in the rearview, never looked away from Sam.

When he got out of the car, John noticed that he limped. “Hurt yourself?” he asked.

Dean mutely nodded and followed Sam into the apartment.

Dean had another detention the following week. John was on a hunt, so Sam went home with a friend.
John didn’t see Dean till the next day, but he noticed Dean limping again.

“Stop fighting, Dean,” John told him at supper. “We don’t need the attention.”

“Yes, sir,” Dean answered softly, and John knew that would be the end of it.

Except that it wasn’t. Two weeks later, there was a third detention—and Dean limping.

Finally, John understood. He pulled Dean into the master bedroom while Sam watched a cartoon and asked, “Dean, why didn’t you tell me?”

Dean replied, “I didn’t want you ashamed of me.” He wouldn’t meet John’s eyes.

Rage suffused him, but John kept his temper. “How many times?”

Dean licked his lips. “Four.”

John reached out and lifted Dean’s head with a gentle finger beneath his chin. “When?”

His firstborn looked away. “One PE class. Three detentions.”

“So, it’s…” John started. Before acting, he needed the confirmation.

Wouldn’t do to kill the wrong man, after all.

“Coach Morgan,” Dean said.

John closed his eyes. Dean’s favorite teacher at this school—“It’s not your fault, Dean. You know that, right?”

He had no idea how to help his son, what to do. They wouldn’t stay in the town, for damn sure. Jim would put them up for awhile.

“I know,” Dean lied. He seemed so defeated, so lost. So not Dean.

John would kill Morgan, the sick fuck. Slowly.

That night, John made Dean his favorite—Salisbury steak and macaroni—then tucked him into the master bed with Sammy.

“I’ll be back by dawn,” he promised. “Watch out for each other.”

His sons nodded seriously.

Morgan lived alone in one of the higher class neighborhoods of town.

John broke in easily. The locks were no challenge and the bastard had no dog. It was a two-story house; Morgan slept on the second floor.

He woke as John pulled him out of bed, but John knocked him back under with one blow. Morgan woke again in his basement, handcuffed to a beam. He didn’t recognize John.

"I’ll give you anything you want,” the man blubbered when John brought out the first knife. “Please don’t hurt me.”

John had no mercy. “You hurt Dean,” he said simply.

Morgan paled even more. When John stepped close with the second knife, Morgan pissed himself.

John used Morgan’s shower before heading home. He left Morgan in the basement and wiped away all evidence but the body.

By the time Dean and Sam got up, John was packed and ready to go.

After, John only spoke to Dean of it once, to tell him again that it wasn’t his fault.

He knew Dean didn’t believe him, but he had no idea what else to say.

Threaded | Top-Level Comments Only

From:

dreamlittleyo.livejournal.com

God. This shattered something inside me. Beautifully written. (and kudos for the Springsteen, though it feels cheap to fangirl about the musical after reading this...)

suonguyen.livejournal.com

Wow, this was an amazing piece, Johns love for his son, Deans stolen inncence, yet he was still so innocent. Amazing work!

jendeana.livejournal.com

You took such a serious subject and very beautifully and simply broke me. Well written and very gently handeled.

scarlett-savage.livejournal.com

Oh. My. Gawd. This fandom and it's most excellent, excellent writers are going to kill me with the angst!

Yes, YOU would be one of those most excellent, excellent writers and this fic? I CRIED. It's so simply, directly written and it's so vivid - I could see it all play out like a film sequence. There is so emotion in it, tight and taut like a wire, and it's heartbreaking: from Dean's brutally stolen innocence to the rage John feels to the wounds in Dean's psyche.

Dude, this is awesome! You are so totally one of my favourite writers in this fandom! Thank you so much for writing such amazing stories :D.

sadelyrate.livejournal.com

Just can't help but hurt Dean, can you?
What amazes me is how damn good you are at it. Not to mention how well you seem to have the characters' voices pinned down...
Dean'd try not to make a big deal out of it, John and his want for vengeance... and Sam, more or less oblivious to it all.

You give us enough, set the table, but the details are only in our heads and it hurts just more like that.

Thank you, though methinks you've gone and broken people's hearts again...

jadeadore.livejournal.com

Beautifully written. I have a lump on my throat now. Thank you for sharing.

vicellious.livejournal.com

I don't think I could ever call a fic like this 'nice' but you certainly did a good job with it, particularly with your sparse, succinct style and tragic little Dean moments. John is a good dad (at times!), but sometimes he can get a little carried away! :O

tigriswolf

Thank you for reading!

Thank you so much!

*blushes* Thank you! *twirls*

Thank you so much, sweetling!

Thank you!

janissa11.livejournal.com

Wow. Poor DEAN. And GO JOHN. Man. That's powerful -- thank you!

Thank YOU.

From: (Anonymous)

I LOVED IT! Mainly because of how great John was here. Yes, we get it, he wasn't father of the year. But if it wasn't for damn Grey's Anatomy and we had gotten to see more of John I think we'd get that he wasn't a complete crap ass father. So many stories have him as completely absent and uncaring, neglectful if not straight up abusive. He had to take some care of them and yes cook for them and spend some time with them and pick them up from school. Contrary to what some stories would have one believe a 4 year old really can't change diapers and cook and drive and raise his little brother alone. Until Dean got older, John really had to do that stuff all by himself. I think those comics they are doing will show a man who tried his best in a situation he was completely unprepared to deal with, who never realized he was hurting his sons emotionally until it was too late to fix and as we see in IMTOD wishes it weren't so. I'm sorry but rewatching those scenes where he just sat there staring so sadly at his boy helpless and hooked to machines slipping away, once you know what he was doing and thinking just brings tears to my eyes. I don't doubt for a minute he would do this for his sons without a moment of regret. I especially love when he made Dean's favorite dinner that night, such a simple tender gesture of love from a man who just didn't know what else to do.

Thank you! I agree about John. He didn't always do everything right, but he did do his best. No one can ask more than that.

gwendolyngrace.livejournal.com

Eek. Dark and ack, and oh, Dean. Oh, John.

It's really kinda miraculous is that something like that didn't happen to them - though I've read some equally good fics where the boys put the fear of God into the teacher themselves. Dean at 12? Could go either way.

I dunno, though, John turning into a cold murderer, even for the boys...? Yes, he'd kill for them. But ack, I hate to even think about it.

romyra

wow...this was just...simply put wow....it's like you captured every parent's worst fear and need for redress and put it all together in a most wonderful format. Loved it!