Retreat
Her smile lit up when she saw him and he knew it was too late to run.
Scar
Sometimes, as Dean comes out the shower with just a towel on, it catches his eye and the memories well up; he wants to apologize all over again, but Dean quit hearing him a long time ago.
Perfume
John searched the country for the scent, but it died with Mary.
Vampire
Luther was right, Kate thought, vengeance is useless if you’re dead, and the hunter's machete took her head.
Music
Dean’s called it music for years, but Sam never thought of it as anything but noise until now—Dean’s face is young again, singing along; the years have been erased, if only for a moment, and at the pure joy Sam can’t help but smile.
Rainbow
“Don’t you know about the pot of gold, Sammy?”
Reflection
Sometimes, Dean looks at Sam and all he sees is the only people he’s ever cared about backs as they walk away.
Puppies
Mary had always wanted a golden retriever puppy, and John thinks that probably would have been easier as Dean’s wails fill the house.
Blonde
She wasn’t his type—he’d never gone for the flaxen-haired goddess, always the lithe brunette caught his eye… but this ‘Mary’ Greg kept talking about intrigued him.
Forgiveness
“Forgive me, Father, for I have sinned… I… I killed a man, and I don’t regret.”
Panther
“See that, Sammy, that’s a panther, and they’re perfect.”
Breakdown
Three weeks after Sammy left, Dean went into a bar and started a fight with a dozen bikers; after it was over, five men were critically wounded, three had broken bones, one was passed out, and Dean still had the look in his eyes, the look that said, “I’m just getting started.”
Amulet
Dean opened the box and stared at the golden charm, then up at his father, his eyes asking, “Are you sure?”
Quilt
Mary’s mother had sewed all the patches together and they tucked Dean in with it every night.
Ghost
Sam sometimes still woke up and imagined Dean in the bed next to his, even when there wasn’t a bed to be seen.
Water
The first bath Sammy had after couldn’t get the stench of fire off him.
Jubilation
“Good job, Sammy—top of the class… I’m so proud of you,” Dean said Sam’s junior year, while Dad was away on a hunt.
Cut
Sometimes, when Dean sharpens the knives, it’s so easy to let one slip onto his skin.
Sunlight
Sam stands in the warmth of the sun for hours after they kill It—his bones are still freezing and Dean never resumes breathing.
Vengeance
“I’m not gonna let you kill yourself to kill It, Sammy—do you understand?”
Experience
Dean nodded to the man and slipped outside—Dad was in New York, hunting again, and Sammy would have food tonight… and it didn’t matter what he had to give up so long as Sammy was fine.
Mirror
Sam doesn’t look in the mirror anymore; all he’d see is Dean standing beside him, but Dean isn’t there anymore, and never will be again.
Emotion
Anger colors his voice but love fills his eyes, and Sam knows he’s been forgiven.
Utopia
John kneels in the church and prays for his soul, but he knows he won’t make it Heaven.
Hazel
Dean has Mary’s eyes and sometimes John can’t look at him because his dead lover is staring back.
Faith
Dean doesn’t believe in God, but he does believe something is up there, watching out for Sammy—he just prays it keeps on looking out for his brother after he’s dead.
Leather
The coat is so essentially Dean that Sam crawls into bed and hugs it to him, breathing in his brother’s scent and praying when he wakes everything will be fine again.
Seduction
No way he’s human, she thinks, watching him pad around the room like a big cat, all muscles and grace, he’s just too fucking beautiful.
Bright
Dean shields his eyes with his hand because the sun shines so brightly and laughs as Sam runs around the field; finally, for a moment, they can be boys again.
Fire
Growing up, Sam never really understood the aversion his brother had for fire—now, he does.
Home
“C’mon, Sam, let’s go hom—back to the apartment.”
Coil
Dean twists, bringing up the gun, and yells, “Down, Sam!” waiting until Sam’s clear before unloading the clip.
Rain
It is fitting, he decides, kneeling before the stone, that the sky mourns for you.
Glass
Dean doesn’t look at the mirror as he puts his fist through it.
Roses
Sam brought Jess roses on their first date and she took them with a smile; it wasn’t till their fifth she told him they were cliché.
Fear
Sam doesn’t understand how Dean can be afraid of anything, and it isn’t until much later—too late—he realizes Dean always equated flying with dying and leaving Sam alone.
Righteous
“Stop this, the both of you—neither of you is right, okay, neither of you, and I’m fucking tired of being in the middle!”
Ocean
The first time Dean heard the roar of the ocean, he fell in love; later, he realized he loved his car for the same reason.
Hope
Hope isn’t something he’s ever claimed to have in abundance, but holding Dean’s corpse, he discovers his supply is all used up.
Slash
Sometimes, Sam looks at his stomach, wondering why the slash that marred his mother and Jess isn’t there.
Despair
It isn’t until years down the road, in Dean’s car with Dean’s coat and Dean’s guns and Dean’s music blaring—who gives a fuck about migraines?—he realizes the despair has lifted: he’s got a purpose again.
Moonlight
Everything looks beautiful bathed in moonlight, he thinks, watching her dance with the wind, laughing, but Mary most of all.
Clouds
“Not everything has a silver lining to make it better,” Dean says, patting Sam’s back while he pukes up his guts, “'specially hangovers.”
Burn
Fire burns, Mary’s gone, and hatred settles with revenge on his heart.
Redemption
Dad can still redeem himself in Sam’s eyes, if he tries, but Sam knows Dad’ll never apologize to Dean, and he also knows Dean’ll never ask for one.
Shatter
Sam raised the colt, eyes lit from inside with the same fire that his father’d had, and didn’t notice the guy sneaking up from the side—his brother did, though, and Dean's body shattered as it hit the wall.
Anger
Watching Dad and Sam argue—same old one, over and over—he felt anger curling in his belly, anger that would turn to fury and then to rage… but he never took it out them, only on himself when neither bothered to look.
Steel
“Even steel breaks,” Sam says to the stone, “and you were strongest of all.”
Agony
After Jessica died, Sam thought he knew about horror and agony, and then after Dad he didn’t think it could get worse, but Dean… no, he’d never understood true, agonized loss before.
Hades
This is Hell, Dean thinks, what sort of demon takes a possessed person to a Britney Spears concert?
Mending
Sam decides the prank war was a good thing—it mended a lot of their unravelings.
Innocence
Innocence died in Dean almost before he could remember it, but he held onto Sam’s for as long as he could.
Darkness
It watched them in the dead of night, the two brothers It had chosen; if It were human, It’s teeth would have gleamed in the moonlight.
Satin
Jessica’s skin felt satin-soft beneath his hands and he couldn’t believe he’d found someone as beautiful as her.
Night
“Tell me—what is it about monsters and night?” Dean muttered to himself as he dug up the grave.
Day
In the sunlight, Sam could almost forget what he’d once been.
Lie
It was a lie, every single thing of It’s mouth was a lie, but Sam still listened, anyway.
Trust
“Trust me, Sammy,” Dean said, and because he was Dean, Sam did.
Time
Time’s running out, John thinks, and changes his voicemail as he takes off.
Door
The door slams behind him, on everything Dean couldn’t say.
Truth
Dean never lied to Sammy, that was just a rule, but Sammy sometimes lied to Dean.
Pain
Sam felt his whole body clench when Dean crumpled onto the ground, and he knew it was a pain that would never leave him.
Wind
Sometimes, when the wind blows through the trees, Sam can hear Dean again.
Life
Sam considered for a brief moment returning to college, living his life for Dean because of everything Dean never got to do, but the open road called him—the siren he knew Dean would have answered to his whole existence—so he stayed on their crusade.
Silver
The golden charm failed him, and so did the silver weapons, but Sam’s dark green eyes saved him, anyway.
Destiny
Maybe it was his destiny all along, but Sam didn’t care—he wanted his brother back, and that was that.
Death
Some things are final and some aren’t, but Sam knows his death is just around the corner and Dean’ll greet him when he finally gets home.