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tigriswolfTitle: Faithful indeed is the spirit that remembers
Fandom: Supernatural
Disclaimer: not my characters; title from Emily Bronte
Warnings: spoilers for aired season 5; AU
Pairings: Michael/Castiel, Dean/Castiel, implied Michael/Lucifer
Rating: PG13
Wordcount: 1160
Point of view: third
i
Choose, Zachariah commands, voice thundering through the heavens. Choose that frail, faulty, sinful, impure, rebellious man or our people, the best of God’s creations.
Quietly, surely, Castiel flares his wings, and says, I choose Dean Winchester.
Lightning flashes, striking the base of Castiel’s wings. He stands firm, unflinching, as his wings are singed off.
You are banished, Zachariah proclaims. No longer an angel, be cast from here with only your puny mind. You have nothing of us anymore.
Castiel inclines his head and turns, staring straight ahead as he strides down the golden cobblestones.
At the edge of Heaven, Castiel pauses before throwing himself over. Michael steps next to him. You’ll choose a new name, he says softly. And you found me. Remember that.
I’ll be an infant, Castiel murmurs, gathering courage. I won’t remember you, or even him.
Michael smiles gently, touching the stumps of Castiel’s wings. Lucifer was not reborn, not entirely. None of his first followers have ever been human. Leaning in, Michael softly presses his lips to Castiel’s. You know where I am, brother, he whispers. You know. Awaken me so that I can succeed now where before I failed so spectacularly.
Castiel glances back at the consult, where Zachariah tries to rally his troops. He’s not as good as you were, Castiel notes.
Michael chuckles. I’ve had one equal and only two superiors, he says. Zachariah has plans upon plans, but he’s already lost.
Who will I be, if I’m not Castiel? Castiel asks, peering over the edge of Heaven. I have nothing but my mind, and so much of that is here. I am nothing.
You are my brother, Michael tells him. Shape your own form. Become whatever you want to be.
Castiel takes a deep breath and faces Michael. Am I dreaming? Michael smiles. I’ve never dreamed before, Castiel admits. Are you really here or only my imagining, to make this easier?
With both hands, Michael cups his face, wrapping Castiel in his wings. You know where I am, he whispers. No one else in Heaven or Hell does. Even Raphael and Gabriel think I’m in Heaven, waiting somewhere. You know, brother, Castiel. Awaken me. I can stop this madness.
Castiel smiles sadly, feeling tears trickle down his face. You’ll choose your first brother.
Yes, Michael confesses. I should have, eternities ago. I can yet save him in his life. Will you help me?
Castiel kisses him and then shoves away, lunging over the edge of Heaven.
o0o
James Novak’s corpse is found on the edge of a highway in Nevada. Besides being dead, the body is perfectly healthy. Baffled authorities contact his frantic wife.
A man strides up to the Winchester brothers’ motel room and lightly raps on the door. He’s of middling height and medium build.
Sam answers, asks, “Can I help you?”
“Hello, Sam,” the man says. “It’s me—” He pauses. Sam raises a brow and his brother steps up behind him.
“Buddy,” Dean chuckles. “You smashed or somethin’?”
You found me, Michael had said in Castiel’s last moments as an angel. You know where I am.
“I’m here to return your amulet,” the man says, holding out a leather cord with a small golden-yellow charm on it.
“Cas?” Dean demands, shoving past Sam. “Where you been?” He quickly looks the body from head to toe. “And where’s Jimmy?”
“Cas,” he muses. “Yes. Cas is my name.”
The Winchesters share a look. “Castiel?” Sam says quietly. “Are you alright?”
Dean gently takes his necklace back and slips it over his head.
“I am human now,” Cas tells them. “This is my own body.”
Cas steps close to Dean and raises his hands—his hands, now, not a vessel’s, but his—to Dean’s face. He closes his eyes as he feels Dean’s skin against his own for the first time.
You know where I am, Michael had whispered. Awaken me.
Opening his eyes, he looks past Dean to Sam. Always first, beloved, sacrificed for—“Remember, my brothers,” Cas tells them both. “The world is waiting for you.”
Before Dean realizes he’s moving, Cas presses their lips together, forbidden fruit he’d fallen to taste. It is better than the dream, so much more than he’d imagined all those years he watched humanity.
“Cas,” Dean whispers, pulling back. Cas lets him go. “What—”
“Michael,” Cas says. “Michael. You must wake up now.”
Thunder rumbles, and Cas alone doesn’t flinch when lightning strikes the ground inches from him, from them, from the possibility of Michael’s wings stretching free again.
Sam places a hand on Dean’s shoulder, eyes staring into Cas, burning him with promise. “What are you doing?” he demands.
Cas says nothing, gaze only on Dean’s face, waiting. “You are in there,” he tells his brother, the mightiest of all God’s creations. “I found you before I knew to look.”
Dean blinks, clearly at a loss. “I,” he says. “What?”
Cas steps back. “Maybe you aren’t ready.” He turns, glances over his shoulder. “I know where you are, Michael. I know you’re sleeping—you deserve the rest. But you told me to wake you, and I will. We all need you. I will.”
He keeps walking, only pausing again when Dean calls, “Cas, wait! Do you have anywhere to go, or money?”
Turning, Cas smiles. “No,” he says. “I shall simply—wing it.”
Sam rolls his eyes as Dean chuckles. “Cas, get in here,” he commands. “We’ll get you set up tomorrow.”
o0o
In the morning, Cas watches the sun ascend. He has been on the other side—he has seen the depth and breadth of creation. Now he is a frail human, without the strength and knowledge he had only yesterday.
He knows that he once saw a star’s birth and returned to feel its death-throes. But he cannot remember how it looked. Of Heaven, he simply recalls enough to know he lost more than anything but an angel can ever comprehend.
As Castiel, he never watched sunrise. As Cas, it is more beautiful than he has the words to describe.
“Hey,” Dean says, stepping outside. “So, guess I wasn’t dreamin’.”
Michael is in him, somewhere. With purely human sight, Cas cannot see Michael, but even as Castiel, he had not seen.
“You do not need to aid me, Dean,” Cas tells him. “I did not come to you for that.”
Sunlight is warm. The sensation pleases him. He never experienced sunlight in Heaven.
“You’re like, what, a day old?” Dean asks, gently shoving his shoulder. “Just a baby. Someone needs to look after you.”
Sam pokes his head out of the room. “Get dressed,” he orders them both. “Breakfast, then supplies.”
“Yeah, yeah,” Dean shoots back. “Go wash your hair, princess.”
Cas smiles, face turned to the sun. Yes, he thinks, releasing the last of his regret. Michael, my brother, you can succeed this time.
He follows Dean into the room, eager to live the rest of his life.
![[identity profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/openid.png){kind=small}
(no subject)
Date: 2009-12-13 04:35 am (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2009-12-13 05:55 am (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2009-12-13 01:07 pm (UTC)very well written and i think i like the idea of a Dean that is not Michael's vessel but Michael himself born human, like Anna!
(no subject)
Date: 2009-12-13 03:16 pm (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2009-12-13 05:06 pm (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2009-12-13 05:06 pm (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2009-12-13 11:37 pm (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2009-12-14 06:29 am (UTC)Thank you for reading!
(no subject)
Date: 2009-12-15 02:02 pm (UTC)I think it raises more questions than it answers, and I tend to like my fic with all its loose ends neatly wrapped and tied in a bow. But I do like the concept, and it's an interesting twist on the idea of a fallen Castiel.
I don't quite understand Sam's role, and that bothers me, I think. Perhaps that's my failing as a reader, rather than yours as a writer, though.
I believe I must percolate longer. :)
(no subject)
Date: 2009-12-15 09:45 pm (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2010-08-16 02:35 pm (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2010-08-16 03:19 pm (UTC)Thank you for reading!