![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
tigriswolfTitle: see through the eyes of the old
Fandom: “Supernatural”
Disclaimer: not my characters; just for fun. Title from “An Innocent Man” by Billy Joel.
Warnings: spoilers for pilot
Pairings: onesided Dean/Sam, Dean/OFCs, OFC/Sam, OMC/Sam, Sam/Jessica
Rating: PG13
Wordcount: 305
Point of view: third
There are many things he does not deny. Late at night, though, separated by the small space between their beds, four years apart and two years of silence, Jessica’s memory—he denies that he ever wanted more.
He had Dean’s smile first. A little boy, always half a step behind his big brother, Dean’s sunshine-grin his alone.
Not even Daddy—Dean’s hero, Dean’s hope, Dean’s dream—could get a smile that equaled the one he gave Sammy for free.
He had Dean’s kiss first. He kissed Dean first. He wanted to scream it at every girl his brother looked twice at, every girl who giggled and flipped her hair.
As boys, before Dean grew up too much, they hugged and kissed cheeks, foreheads, and Sam was content.
But then he watched Dean with girls, how he held and kissed them, drinking them down to the foundations, and the want was sharp within him.
Sam gave up his virginity in Indiana, then again in Iowa. Both times, he whispered Dean as he came, though Dean was a town away.
He had Dean first, before anyone but Mom and Dad. He’s had Dean from the moment Dean pressed his little hand to Mommy’s belly and felt his brother move. He’s had Dean from the moment Daddy said, You have to watch out for him, Dean, even before the Take your brother outside, fast as you can.
He had Dean until he left Dean behind.
Dean’s smile is still sunshine-bright, though tempered by time and weathered by disappointment. He flashes fakes of it at women, though he doesn’t really try.
Sam wants, no matter how fervently he denies it. Too much, though, is between them, now. Years they don’t share, and blood they do.
And Jessica. Always the memory of Jessica.
Dean will say no. So Sam never asks.
![[identity profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/openid.png){kind=small}
(no subject)
Date: 2007-09-28 09:03 pm (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2007-09-29 04:07 am (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2007-09-28 09:31 pm (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2007-09-29 04:07 am (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2007-09-28 11:32 pm (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2007-09-28 11:33 pm (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2007-09-28 11:40 pm (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2007-09-29 04:10 am (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2007-09-29 12:33 am (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2007-09-29 04:11 am (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2007-09-30 09:38 am (UTC)Oh, boys.
Dean will say no. So Sam never asks.
(no subject)
Date: 2007-09-30 01:56 pm (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2007-09-30 01:42 pm (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2007-09-30 01:57 pm (UTC)