This is Goodbye - SN fic - PG

[tigriswolf]

Title: This is Goodbye

Fandom: “Supernatural”

Disclaimer: not my characters; just for fun.

Warnings: after Dean’s deal comes due

Pairings: none

Rating: PG

Wordcount: 400

Point of view: third

 

                Sam does not speak to Dean. For days, weeks, months, he is silent. He pretends nothing has happened; he pretends nothing is wrong. 

                Dean waits. He understands. It’s not easy for him, but Sammy… Dean sighs, watching Sam pace across the hotel room. It takes him less than twenty steps around the entire perimeter.

                Sam lays down salt every night, carves protective sigil on top of protective sigil. He doesn’t answer the phone or check his email. He’s in there, Dean can tell, but it’s still like no one’s home.

                This isn’t what Dean wanted. Nowhere near it. 

                It’s been long enough of silence, so Dean says, “Sammy.”

                Sam doesn’t look over, just keeps pacing. Lost somewhere deep inside his own head. 

                “Sammy,” he says again. “I know you can hear me. And this…” He pauses. Never been good with words, and now he’s gotta be good enough to bring Sam back. “You didn’t fail, Sam.” Dean looks down at his hands, clasped in his lap, fingers entwined. “So this isn’t what you meant.” He tries smiling, glancing up.

                Sam’s still ignoring him. Dean can deal with that. Dealt with it fine when they were kids, and then again when Sam was at Stanford and never accepted Dean’s calls.

                “I’m free, Sam. Not in Hell. And that’s somethin’.”

                It’s been five months of silence, of Sam never looking at him, never reacting or responding. Of Sam not reacting or responding to anything, just moving from town to town, room to room, almost more of a spirit than Dean.

                There is no body. There aren’t even ashes. Lucifer’s a damned bastard when someone outsmarts him.

                But there is a golden amulet, hanging around Sam’s neck, resting next to Sam’s heart.

                Sam does not speak. But he listens. Dean knows he does, and that’s why he never stops talking.

                “I’m free, Sam,” he repeats. “And I know…” He sighs again. “And I know one day you’ll wake up, be my pain in the ass little brother again. I’ll be here, when you do.”

                It’s a split second movement, but Sam glances over. Dean smiles.

                Lucifer’s a bastard, but he’s no Winchester. Dean’s still here, still fighting, and somewhere locked inside, so is Sam. And that’s enough.

                Not what Dean wanted, and not what Sam meant, but Hell isn’t where either one of them is going. Maybe not Heaven, either.

                “I’ll be here.”

 

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[tigriswolf]

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