Unbecoming - SN poem

[tigriswolf]

Spoilers for "Devil's Trap."  Can be read as taking place during the cabin scene.

So tell me, little boy,

What do you plan to do?

 

It’s not quite love, but it’s close enough.

It’s not quite happiness, but it almost is.

It’s not quite what he’d planned—but the choice isn’t his anymore.

If it ever really was.

 

Do you think you can escape? 

Do you think you’ll get far?

Try. Go ahead.

I dare you.

 

The silence screams, to use an old cliché,

Shrieking at all the half-truths and untruths,

At all the lies by omission and lies whispered gently.

And into the silence, she weeps, their mother—

He hears her and nearly asks if his brother does, too.

 

Where’s your quip? Your humor?

Gone—did you lose it somewhere? 

Did it pour out with your blood?

Silly, silly boy.

C’mon, I’m waiting.

Where’s the bravado to the last?

 

This isn’t what he’d imagined, not even close.

This isn’t what he’d wanted, what he’d hoped for—

This is not where he pictured it’d end.

It’s unfair, brutally so, and if it didn’t hurt so much,

He’d laugh and laugh and never stop.

But he can’t laugh, because he’s the oldest, the strong one,

He’s the one who never breaks—and little brother needs him now.

 

Can you feel Hell waiting for you?

I can—they sing for you, chant and laugh.

There’s a party in your honor.

You’ve got lots of friends down there, m’boy.

Well—not friends. 

But you already knew that, didn’t you?

They’re licking their lips and sharpening their fangs—

Oh, yes, how they want you…

 

This isn’t what he’d have chosen. 

That doesn’t matter, though.

It is what it is—can’t be helped or stopped or slowed.

If one of them has to die today…

 

Oh, good boy…