tigriswolf: (temptation)
[personal profile] tigriswolf

Title: history written on the body
Fandom: "Supernatural"
Disclaimer: not my characters; just for fun.
Warnings: takes place between 4.2 and 4.3; slight AU, I guess?
Pairings: none stated
Rating: PG
Wordcount: 620
Point of view: third

 

“You lament your lack of scars,” Castiel observes.

Dean yelps and whirls around, his towel dropping. He snags it midair and returns it to his waist.

“Dude!” he says. “When the door is locked, it means stay the fuck out.”

Castiel ignores the words, focusing instead on the body he poured Father’s healing grace into, re-knitting rotted muscle and flesh. Dean’s body is as perfect as the First Man’s had been, back at the beginning. Every physical weakness is gone.

But Dean is not happy with his body and Castiel wants to know why.

“Hello?” Dean says, snapping his fingers loudly in Castiel’s face. “Anybody home?”

“Why are you displeased?” Castiel asks, watching as Dean backs away, going to his bed and pulling a shirt over his head.

“Yeah, see, starting conversations in the middle means I got no clue what you’re talkin’ about,” Dean says.

Castiel replies, “Your scars. The aches and pains your body had before Hell. Why do you miss them?”

Dean pauses in the act of throwing clothes out his duffle bag. “You really don’t get it?” He turns his head to stare at Castiel. “In your true form—do you get hurt?”

Castiel nods. “We can be wounded. God heals us instantaneously.”

“But angels still die,” Dean says.

“If the wound is bad enough, yes,” Castiel admits.

Dean sighs and flips the duffle over. He roots through the pile for a moment before grabbing a pair of boxer shorts. He glances at Castiel then says, “Oh, fuck it,” and drops his towel to pull them on

Castiel asks, “Why are you displeased? I do not understand. You are as close to physical perfection as there can be among humans.”

Dean shoves all the clothes back into the bag. “Those scars,” he answers, “the aches and pains—they showed where I’d been.” He tosses the towel into the bathroom and runs a hand through his hair. “That I’d survived.”

He paces from the bathroom door to the main door and back. “Thirty years,” he mutters, raising his voice to continue, “I knew where I’d gotten every scar. Why my left knee hurt, why my right elbow sometimes twinged. And now all I got is an angel tattoo.” He stops and looks over, raising his hand to his shoulder. “This body is all new,” he says, meeting Castiel’s eyes. “It’s got my face and my memories and all the training I learned over a lifetime—but there’s no evidence I’ve lived.”

He shrugs. “It’s stupid.”

“No,” Castiel responds instantly. “I—I did not know such things are important.” He ponders for a moment, watching Dean examine his hands. “I cannot return them to you.”

“It’s fine, dude,” Dean says. “Forget it.”

Castiel walks over and inclines his head. “Forgive me, Dean,” he asks.

Dean laughs, raising Castiel’s head with a gentle, no-longer calloused hand. “You saved me from Hell,” he says. “And I’m a little pissy 'cause I have the best body in the world?” He shakes his head. “There’s nothing to forgive you for, Cas.”

Feeling Sam’s approach, Castiel knows he must go. “Thank you for your explanation,” he tells Dean and departs.

Humans are the most intricate of all Father’s creations. By far, they are the most confusing. Castiel has watched them continuously for two thousand human years and barely scratched the surface. He knows he could shadow Dean, in particular, for the rest of the man’s life and learn something new every moment.

This fascination is beneath you, Uriel says from across the world. Remember that they are a fallen species.

Castiel ignores him. He replays Dean’s actions and words in his mind, wondering what it would be like to have scars that showed he’d lived.

(no subject)

Date: 2009-03-25 01:37 pm (UTC)
ext_9352: (Default)
From: [identity profile] charlie-d-blue.livejournal.com
Oh, what a beautiful little pocket of time. Your Castiel is spot-on, and I felt like the paradox of his inhuman alienation and simultaneous compassionate curiosity was etched out gorgeously.

(no subject)

Date: 2009-03-25 01:42 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] kira-bouviea.livejournal.com
Nice. I like how you adressed the lack of scars. I have a feeling the Dean in the show might miss them, no matter what he says otherwise

(no subject)

Date: 2009-03-25 03:26 pm (UTC)
meanheans: (Dean)
From: [personal profile] meanheans
This is lovely. Thanks for addressing both Dean's anger at losing his proof of life, but understanding that his health is no reason to be mad at Castiel.

(no subject)

Date: 2009-03-25 04:04 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] hd-obsession.livejournal.com
That last line is gorgeous.

(no subject)

Date: 2009-03-25 07:48 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] evalens.livejournal.com
I really like fics that show a small moment in time, like this. Really gorgeous fic -- particularly Castiel's view on human life; his fascination whilst not really understanding humans is so interesting. I really enjoyed this! :]

(no subject)

Date: 2009-03-25 11:13 pm (UTC)
ext_13391: (2deanfreshblood)
From: [identity profile] smilla02.livejournal.com
I adore this. Dean's scars really are that important. I love the dialogue and the last line, especially is awesome.

(no subject)

Date: 2009-03-26 07:12 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] layne67.livejournal.com
I really, really love this. I love Castiel with his endless fascination with humans, and that he wants Dean to forgive him for the new body. And I find it fascinating that Castiel departs the moment he feels Sam approaching!

(no subject)

Date: 2009-03-27 06:05 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] catoasapun.livejournal.com
Lovely!

I love how curious Castiel is about how Dean is feeling about the lack of scars and whatnot, how fascinating he finds him. To an angel who cannot be scarred, it would be an interesting thing, I'm sure; Dean's feelings are so very human.

You really captured their characterizations fantastically. Castiel wondering and compassionate; Dean snarky with a side of deep. XD

And, the last line was absolutely perfect. It really tied up the whole story quite nicely.

(no subject)

Date: 2009-03-27 07:23 am (UTC)
fufaraw: mist drift upslope (Default)
From: [personal profile] fufaraw
This is perfect, in voice and in the idea. I've often thought that Dean would miss his scars. Castiel not understanding is expected. Him apologizing is unexpected, but...perfect, in his voice.

(no subject)

Date: 2009-03-27 05:17 pm (UTC)
fufaraw: mist drift upslope (Default)
From: [personal profile] fufaraw
Okay, I'm giggling at your inquisitive penguins. My icon is a closeup of an outtake cap from Wendigo, when Sam gets Dean down off the hook in the Wendigo's cave and supports him with an arm around him and Dean's bound hands cupped in one of Sam's till Sam can sit him down. The cap was dark--here's the version I lightened.

(no subject)

Date: 2009-03-27 11:36 pm (UTC)
fufaraw: mist drift upslope (clutch x2)
From: [personal profile] fufaraw
I think the scene was cut down. Plus, it was very, very dark so even if that moment wasn't cut from the scene, there wasn't actually time to be able to make it out precisely. The photo was an outtake, so I assume hat moment was actually not shown. I don't have the original, un-Photoshopped and lightened cap on this computer, and I can't remember offhand where I found it. It was released sometime in Season three with a lot of behind-the-scenes and outtakes photos.

(no subject)

Date: 2009-03-27 03:32 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] invisiblelove.livejournal.com
This was beautiful. I love watching Castiel experience these little moments were he learns what it is to be human. Wonderful job :)

(no subject)

Date: 2009-03-28 03:50 am (UTC)
ext_11786: (spn:castiel:lanternwaste)
From: [identity profile] dotfic.livejournal.com
I love the last line especially.

(no subject)

Date: 2009-03-29 02:32 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] azraelz-angel.livejournal.com
This was absolutely fabulous. Wow. Such an amazing piece to go along with Dean's lack of scars. I was very troubled that Dean's scars were removed, but I understand why they were when Castiel rebuilt him.

Great job with getting Castiel's voice and fascination right.

Thank you for such a wonderfully enjoyable read.

(no subject)

Date: 2009-04-08 02:48 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] omgorgasm.livejournal.com
This is pretty damn amazing. Castiel was damn near perfect and I could see the scene in my head, movie style. I love it. ♥

(no subject)

Date: 2009-04-13 04:52 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] elliesmeow.livejournal.com
I enjoyed that very much. Thanks. I agree with what Dean said too, his scars had value.

-Ellie

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