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tigriswolfTitle: Brother, my heart is rent
Fandom: Supernatural
Disclaimer: not my characters; title from Donald Platt.
Warnings: implied prostitution
Pairings: implied OMC/Dean
Rating: PG13ish
Wordcount: 805
Point of view: third
When Sam was thirteen, he realized where their extra money came from. He went home early one day, school shut down because of a small fire, and he saw a stranger leaving their apartment.
The man was pudgy and well-dressed; he didn’t fit in their building at all.
Sam paused at the top of the stairs, watching him stride down the hall. The man smirked as he passed Sam, started whistling a bouncy tune. A dozen clues he’d ignored or not noticed before slotted into place in Sam’s mind.
For the first time, Sam wanted to kill. He stood a moment longer, considering the pros and cons of following the stranger and destroying him.
Instead, he slowly walked to their door and went in, dropping his booksack on the floor. Dean was showering, of course, and his bed was stripped to the mattress. A small stack of bills rested on the dresser.
Sam counted them: fifteen ones and a single twenty. Thirty-five dollars for that man with his smirk.
He breathed, fists clenched. Dad would be back by the end of the week, barring any disasters. Could Sam go to him, ask for help?
No, he realized. Dad might not know, and wouldn’t approve, but he couldn’t leave them enough money to survive. If he ordered Dean to stop, Dean might for awhile, until the money ran out.
I could be wrong, Sam told himself. I can’t be sure. Not without asking. And I can’t do that to Dean.
The shower turned off and Sam left Dean’s room. He dragged his booksack to the kitchen table and threw himself into a chair. He didn’t feel like doing homework.
He wanted to take his sharpest knife and dig it into that smirking man’s belly, to open him from neck to navel. He wondered how many men he’d missed through the years.
The bathroom door opened and Sam didn’t look as Dean walked to his room.
I might be wrong, Sam thought. Maybe they played poker. Maybe Dean’s dealing drugs.
Maybe Dad’ll come home tonight and say we’ll never hunt again. Sam sighed, resting his face in his hands.
Dean wouldn’t stop, Sam knew. Not as long as they needed money. And they’d need money until Sam got out of hunting and had a lucrative career.
He decided then, sitting in their outdated kitchen, that one day he’d be a lawyer and make millions of dollars, and Dean would never—
“Hey, Sammy,” Dean said, pulling on a shirt as he walked in. Sam saw a darkening bruise on his hip and wondered how many he’d never noticed or written off as training. “You cuttin’ class?”
“There was a fire,” Sam explained quietly. He glanced up to meet Dean’s eyes.
He wondered how young Dean had been. How scared and determined. Dean would kill any man who even thought about Sam. And Sam couldn’t even ask Dean to stop.
“You want pizza tonight?” Dean asked, filling a glass with tap water.
“Sure,” Sam said, swallowing down bile. He forced a smile, asking, “Can you explain my math homework? The lesson got interrupted by flames.”
“’a’course, kiddo.” Dean sank into the second chair, skillfully hiding a wince. If Sam hadn’t been looking for it, he wouldn’t have seen.
He saw that man’s smirk again.. He imagined a knife slicing through muscle and fat, intestines spilling out.
Sam wanted to beg Dean to stop. And Dean would promise, and he’d mean it, but it’d be a lie nonetheless.
“Oh,” Dean said, glancing at Sam’s notebook. “Here’s where you went wrong, Sammy.”
So Sam focused on the math and tried to pretend he’d never figured it out. He vowed to only request necessities anymore. If he quit eating up Dad’s funds, then Dean wouldn’t feel the need… Dean ruffled his hair, rising to his feet. “You got it,” he said. “I’ll order the pizza. I’m starved, dude.”
Sam watched him. Wondered if Dean wanted something more, beyond taking care of a geeky kid brother and a crazy dad, and hunting. He had to want more, but Sam couldn’t remember ever hearing him ask.
“An hour,” Dean said, hanging up the phone.
Sam nodded, looking back down at his notebook. He had fifteen more problems—same number as the one dollar bills. He felt his stomach clench, felt vomit in his throat. He swallowed, licked his lips.
Dean wouldn’t stop. No point in asking. It’d just hurt them both. So he didn’t ask. Not that afternoon, or that month, or that year. Or the next five years. When he left, he told Dean to come with him, to leave hunting and blood and monsters behind.
“I can’t,” Dean said. He smiled sadly. “Be safe, Sammy.”
Sam left, and he only looked back once, to see Dean leaning on the Impala, head bowed.
![[identity profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/openid.png){kind=small}
(no subject)
Date: 2009-12-07 09:16 am (UTC)Oooh, how I'd love to read more in this verse, especially with Dean saying yes to Sam.
(no subject)
Date: 2009-12-07 02:51 pm (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2009-12-07 02:41 pm (UTC)Well done.
(no subject)
Date: 2009-12-07 02:52 pm (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2009-12-07 03:13 pm (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2009-12-07 04:56 pm (UTC)the ending is so sad
Date: 2009-12-07 05:06 pm (UTC)no wonder sam was mad all the time...before he left...
Re: the ending is so sad
Date: 2009-12-07 06:00 pm (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2009-12-07 05:54 pm (UTC)Oh darlin. This is so fantastic. Hurty and so, so *awesome*
(no subject)
Date: 2009-12-07 06:00 pm (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2009-12-07 09:08 pm (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2009-12-08 12:51 am (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2009-12-08 01:20 am (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2009-12-08 03:30 am (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2009-12-08 06:54 am (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2009-12-08 12:24 pm (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2009-12-09 01:07 am (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2009-12-09 02:36 am (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2009-12-09 11:11 am (UTC)What if he is the one who has to look after his kid brother under such circumstance?
What would he do?
Would he do the same thing for Dean?
Would he sacrifice everything?
*sigh* oh Dean
(no subject)
Date: 2009-12-09 01:46 pm (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2009-12-13 01:20 pm (UTC)*kicks John*
*punches smirking guy*
*still sad*
*sigh*
*hugs Dean*
(no subject)
Date: 2009-12-13 05:12 pm (UTC)Thank you for reading!
(no subject)
Date: 2010-01-01 04:40 am (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2010-01-01 09:52 am (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2010-01-02 02:54 am (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2010-01-02 03:23 am (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2010-01-02 03:37 am (UTC)I plan on building a house someday that's raptor proof. It'll only have key card entries, no doors. Because, as we all know, raptors can't use key cards.
(no subject)
Date: 2010-01-17 04:56 am (UTC)And seriously anger!Sam, whew he's a little scary when he gets all worked up.
(no subject)
Date: 2010-01-17 03:21 pm (UTC)