four white mice will never be four white horses - SN fic - PG13, gen

[tigriswolf]

Title: four white mice will never be four white horses
Fandom: Supernatural
Disclaimer: not my characters; title from Cinderella.
Warnings: spoilers for everything aired, but takes place pre-series
Pairings: none stated
Rating: PG13
Wordcount: 620
Point of view: first

 

 

Why do you fight for them, kiddo? A few would try to help you, if they saw you in trouble, but most? Most would stab you in the back, or call the cops on you, or curse your name, if they knew it. They think you’re a threat, a danger to all they hold dear.

You are dangerous—they’re right about that. You’ve killed, but you’re really not a murderer, so you say. You kill people who deserve it. You’d die for strangers on the street, for kitties and puppies and anyone. Everyone. And your own government would string you up, execute you for crimes you never committed or committed for the good of the world.

Why do you fight for them? Why would you sacrifice yourself for them? Life’d be so much simpler, so very much easier, if you just faded away, quit hunting and trying and bleeding for people who will never know and wouldn’t care if they did.

You’ll spend your life trying, Dean. You’ll spend your life trying and then you’ll die. You’ll go to Alistair, Hell’s favored son, Lucifer’s dearest companion since w—Michael spurned him. And with Alistair, sweetheart, you’ll have so much fun—I know you, Dean—after you break, and the first seal with you… you will still fight for them. Bleed and suffer and weep for them. Rip yourself apart when you fail, mourn for all that is lost when you’re too weak, too slow, too stupid.

And you are stupid, you know. You keep trying to change while doing the same exact thing, hoping for a new outcome.

You fail, Dean. In the end, after everything, you fail. That will be your legacy, how you’re remembered.

And you will be remembered. I promise. Your parents, your brother, and you—all played a part, have yet to play a part. Pieces of a whole, leading to an outcome so fantastic, so gigantic—it’ll be amazing, Dean. So beautiful. The first time you pick up the razor beneath Alistair’s proud eye, you become the masterpiece of thousand eons’ work. You’ll destroy everything.

Don’t look so sad, kiddo. You won’t mean to. At the time, you won’t even know. And you always meant well. Will mean well.

You don’t know me yet. Won’t know me for years. But we become good friends, you and I. The best of friends. We’ll meet in Hell. We’ll meet in Hell and then—and then, sweetheart, you’ll know what you really are.

Ah, Dean, don’t look so horrified. You complete me, and I need you.

You won’t remember this conversation, dear one. Sweet, loyal, self-sacrificing Dean. This is a dream that’ll fade by the time you throw off your blanket. You won’t remember until we meet, both holding Alistair’s blade, both releasing our brother—our King.

So tell me, Dean. Tell me. Now that we’ve talked awhile—why do you fight, for them or yourself or your darling little Sammy? Even he will leave you. Your father will leave you. Your mother already has. You’ll be alone, beneath Alistair… with me.

Beneath Alistair’s loving ministrations, Dean, you’ll become me. We’ll have so much fun together. And after you get ripped away from me by the little angel who could, leaving me alone in the Pit, we’ll be apart long enough for your brother to release mine.

Don’t worry, though, Dean. We’ll meet up again and you’ll know me, but you won’t know why.

Angels fall, Dean. Angels fall and they devolve.  They change. Zachariah is a blind, arrogant fool, but he’ll get his, I promise.

You’ll become me, but I’m already you, and I’m waiting, Dean. In Perdition, I’m waiting for you. (And you’re ever seeking me.)

 

Comments

[melanth0.livejournal.com]

This is wonderful.

I love the 'it always had to be you' vibe, and the familiar tone. ('kiddo'-it almost sounds like YED.) And I'm still imagining the look on Dean's face as he takes this in, even if he won't remember...

[tigriswolf]

Thank you so much for reading!

[legio]

This was spooky. This voice; this potential for evil that we all have, this piece of us torn, twisted, magnified, made worse and ripped out, made as a fully actualized being, separated and independent. Scary indeed.

On the other hand I can't help to imagine this voice as Michael. "Angels fall, Dean. Angels fall and they devolve. They change"

legio

[tigriswolf]

Thank you so much!

[legio]

OOOOH
And now i see you have tagged this as: "point of view:michael the archangel"
I gues I wasn't so far of.

Legio

[tigriswolf]

Actually, when I first started writing this one, the narrator was a piece of Dean that got left in Hell to become a demon. Then, as I finished it, I decided that the narrator was actually Michael the angel, who fell, became Dean, and got left in Hell to become more demonic than anything else.

So, yeah.

[acidquill.livejournal.com]

Okay, this? Knocked me on my ass. Creepy and haunting and just SO. DAMN. GOOD.

[tigriswolf]

*hee* Thank you!

[labseraph.livejournal.com]

Such soft, sibilant words, like a sharp nail trailing down your spine.

*shudder*

[tigriswolf]

*glee* Thank you! That's what I was going for.

[haruslex.livejournal.com]

I absolutely love the kind of ambiguity of the voice here, and the twisted way it breaks down Dean's character in a head-fucking sort of way. Just gorgeously cruel!

[tigriswolf]

Thank you so much!

[loveandthetruth.livejournal.com]

Oh.

Oh

Just. More.

*flails*

[tigriswolf]

Anything in particular you want more of?

Thank you for reading!

[loveandthetruth.livejournal.com]

Evil Dean! :D

I've always been a bit put out that they spent a large part of season three doing "You're gonna die. And this is what you're gonna become."

But all we've been getting is PTSD Dean so far.

And Jensen does dark so well, too.

[tigriswolf]

I wish we had some evil!Dean on the show. It seemed like he almost got there in 4.16, what with torturing Alistair and all, but then they backed down.

If you want, give me a word and I'll try to write a dark!Dean drabble to it.

[loveandthetruth.livejournal.com]

I know! I got so excited! But then he got beaten to pulp instead D:

Hmmm. A word....

Partnership.

:)

[tigriswolf]

It's finally posted. I'm sorry it's been over a month.