Glee ficlets - Kurt/Puck, AU, PG
Jun. 3rd, 2011 09:36 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
tigriswolfTitle: I’ll tell you how the sun rose a ribbon at a time
Fandom: Glee
Disclaimer: not my characters; title from Dickinson
Warnings: mentions of attempted suicide; so much fluff; AU for season 2
Pairings: Kurt/Blaine, pre-Kurt/Puck, unrequited Karofsky/Kurt
Rating: PG
Wordcount: 965
Point of view: third
Prompt: Puck wasn't in juvie. He was in the hospital for a suicide attempt.
When he comes back, he's quiet. He doesn't speak up in Glee anymore. Not to sing a song by a Jew. Not to make a smart comment. Not for anything.
He only wears long sleeves anymore, covering up the "guns" he used to be so proud of. He doesn't want anyone to see the the scar on his arm that stretches from his wrist to his elbow.
Then Kurt saw the scar.
According to statistics, (and I actually looked this up to make sure I was right) "between one quarter and one third of adolescents who attempt suicide will go on to try again, with the greatest risk for recurrence falling between 6 months and 1 year after their first attempt."
(Source: http://cme.medscape.com/viewarticle/702018)
"Give me one month. One month to show you that life is worth living. One month to give you something to live for."
No death, please!!
The first time Puck lets the perfect opportunity for a dirty comment pass by, no one notices it. Or the second, or the third, or the fifteenth. Later, Kurt will feel bad about that, but the whole Karofsky thing is heating up, and his Dad is engaged, and things spiral out of control.
And then Kurt’s at Dalton, and doesn’t see day in and day out how wrong Puck is acting. Not until Finn invites Puck over for the weekend, as an attempt to reconnect with his once-best friend, and Kurt sees him in the hall, still wet from the shower, and the brand-new scar going from his wrist to his elbow. The kind of scar that might be accidental, but more than likely isn’t.
“Fuck, Hummel!” Puck yells, turning so that his left arm isn’t visible. “Warn a guy.”
Kurt isn’t supposed to be home. No one is. Finn had an early morning shift at Sheets N Things, and Carole and Dad went on a breakfast date. And Kurt was supposed to have been at Mercedes’ until later this morning, but they had an argument about Blaine and he came in late last night (or very early this morning, whichever.)
And usually, Kurt would be very careful about not looking at Puck while he’s only wearing a towel, but there are marks on his right arm that are more… fresh. As in, just-now-in-the-shower-fresh. “Puck,” he whispers. “Puck, what the hell.”
Puck isn’t meeting his eyes. So Kurt takes a deep breath and swallows his fear and residual anger, and he says, “Get dressed. Meet me in the kitchen. You have five minutes or I will drag you there by your ear.”
He watches Puck trudge away until he slips into Finn’s room.
0o0
Kurt throws together a breakfast of toast and fruit and waits. At exactly five minutes, Puck slides into the chair across from him, dressed in long sleeves and jeans. Kurt remembers that Puck quit wearing short sleeves right after he got back from juvie. Another sign everyone missed.
“You never went to juvie,” Kurt says. Puck shakes his head and takes a piece of toast. “You tried to kill yourself.” Puck nods and spears a strawberry with his fork.
Kurt sags back against his chair. He isn’t qualified to deal with this.
A few moments pass in silence. Puck doesn’t look at Kurt and Kurt can’t look away from Puck. “Will you… have you tried again?”
Puck very carefully doesn’t respond and Kurt closes his eyes.
0o0
After breakfast, Kurt herds Puck into his room and softly orders him to sit. Kurt is disgusted with himself and everyone else who knows Puck—how could nobody have noticed how different he is? The old Puck would’ve never let himself be pushed around like this. Never have been so docile, so hesitant, so quiet.
“Give me a month,” Kurt says. “A month of you not hurting yourself. Of you not trying to do anything so final again.” Puck glances up at him and Kurt says, “A month to give you something to live for. Please, Puck.” No, that’s not right. “Please, Noah.”
“And what can you give me, Hummel?” he asks, almost viciously. “Away in your cage with your little bitch-boy. What the fuck can you give me?”
Kurt wants to touch him. To hug him. “A friend, Noah,” he says. “You’ve never had someone choose you. This is me, choosing you.”
Noah blinks at him, and Kurt doesn’t think he notices that he’s rubbing at his left wrist. “What does that even mean?” He sounds honestly bewildered.
“Every weekend, you and I will do something. Four weekends, just me and you. Whatever you want. I reserve, the right, however,” he adds, “to take you shopping and buy you something that will look amazing on you.”
“And your boy?” Noah asks. “Your family. They won’t let you spend time with me.”
Kurt shrugs. “No one lets me do anything, Noah. I’m Kurt motherfucking Hummel.”
That, at least, gets a smile.
0o0
Kurt calls Blaine to cancel their date for that evening. He tells Noah to choose a movie and bundles him into bed, and while Noah watches Optimus Prime save the world, he mentally composes a list of every good thing there is about Noah Puckerman.
It’s a longer list than anyone would expect, and he’s sure that Noah wouldn’t believe half of it. He vows to spend the next four weekends proving them all.
When Finn and their parents get home, Noah is asleep and sprawled all over Kurt. Kurt is slowly running his fingers through Noah’s hair; he hasn’t had the mohawk since ‘juvie’, when he shaved his head. Another cry for help that no one noticed, due to never-ending drama.
Before Dad or Finn can freak and kick Noah out the house, Kurt gives them his strongest glare. “I’ll explain later,” he hisses. “Leave us alone.”
Carole drags them both away, with a look over her shoulder that means he will explain. Kurt nods.
Noah sleeps all through the evening and into the next morning. He wakes up around dawn and tries to sneak out, but Kurt grabs his hand. “It’s the weekend,” he says. “You’re mine.”
“I… are you sure?” Noah asks. Kurt’s never seen him this uncertain, this broken. It’s just so wrong.
“Yes,” Kurt says, so strongly Noah is visibly taken aback. “What do you want to do?”
Noah shuffles in place for a moment, still letting Kurt hold his hand. “I, I need to piss,” he mumbles. “Then… can we sleep some more? I’m… so tired.”
Kurt smiles at him. “Anything you want, Noah.”
Noah’s smile is barely there, but Kurt sees it. And he won’t let Noah go until it’s bright enough to light up the world again.
Title: If I could steal one final glance, one final step, one final dance
Fandom: Glee
Disclaimer: not my characters; title from Luther Vandross; lyrics from “The Dance” and “Don’t Cry for Me, Argentina”
Warnings: character death; spoilers for season 2
Pairings: post-Blaine/Kurt, Puck/Kurt, unrequited Karofsky/Kurt
Rating: PG
Wordcount: 565
Point of view: third
Prompt: Puck and Kurt have only very recently begun dating and in the car one day Puck's flipping through the radio when he stops for a moment on a country station. The song 'The Dance' is playing and he's like 'LAME!' and starts to change it. Kurt demands he leave it on.
They listen to the song in total silence while Kurt sits there with tears streaming down his face. He confesses that it was him mom's favorite.
A few months later Kurt is killed (car accident, gay bashing, whatever, just something unexpected and angsty) Instead of delivering a eulogy, Puck sings 'The Dance' at the funeral and then breaks down sobbing in Burt's arms.
"I could talk all day about how awesome he was," Puck says. Finn wipes at his eyes and Rachel leans in closer, tucking her face into his chest. Puck's voice is thick, tears rolling down his cheeks. "I could go on for hours about how he bitched and laughed and fuckin' lived like a BAMF. But one of the things he did best? My boy could sing like a goddamned angel, and so I'm gonna sing his favorite song."
Burt is flat-out sobbing, head buried in his hands. Mom is holding him, and the rest of glee are ranged in the front pews. The funeral home is packed, full of mechanics and Kurt's old dance class and nearly the entirety of their year and all of the Warblers.
Even Karofsky. Finn saw him sneak in the back, but didn't say anything. He's the one who slammed Azimio into a locker and tried to wake Kurt up, before anyone else got there.
Azimio has apologized. Said he didn’t mean to shove Kurt so hard. Mom told Finn and Puck that Kurt landed wrong. That was it. Only thing wrong was a bump on the head and that was enough.
But here they are. Kurt’s dead and Finn already told everyone to not leave Puck alone for the next few months or he might very well follow.
“I’m gonna sing,” Puck says again, and now his voice is strong. “No music, just me and my voice, for my boy.”
And he does. He fills up the room, and he’s never sounded better, and Finn pulls Rachel into his arms when Puck’s voice cracks on, Hey, who's to say, you know, I might have changed it all.
Puck collapses when he finishes the final line. Finn’s about to go to him when Burt pulls away from Mom and stumbles to the stage. The whole place is dead silent as Burt wraps his arms around Puck and they weep together in front of Kurt’s coffin.
Finn wonders if Puck will ever be able to sing again, if any of them will ever want to. Then Rachel murmurs, it won’t be easy, you’ll think it strange, and Quinn picks it up, then Mercedes and Tina, Blaine and Santana and everyone else from glee and the Warblers. Finn joins in at the first the truth is, I never left you, and wishes it were true, that Kurt would sit up and sing, drown them all out.
All their voices fade until only Rachel is singing the last verse. Then Puck hoarsely joins her and finishes it out alone. His voice breaks on every word is true and Burt clutches him closer.
Finn wishes that he and Karofsky hadn’t pulled Puck off Azimio. Rachel twists her fingers in his shirt and he rests his cheek on her head, and he wants, more than he’s ever wanted anything, to wake up and have all of this be the worst nightmare of his life.
(In two weeks, Puck will slip away from Quinn and Mercedes. He’ll steal the gun from Burt’s safe and go to Kurt’s grave, still with a temporary marker in place of a stone. He’ll have left a note on Finn’s pillow but nothing for anyone else.
Finn will read the single line to Mom and Burt and Rachel, and then he’ll break down in tears.
I’m glad I didn’t miss the dance.)
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Date: 2011-06-03 09:39 pm (UTC)(no subject)
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Date: 2011-06-05 04:21 am (UTC)Tragic. So very heartbreakingly tragic.
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Date: 2011-06-06 02:59 am (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2011-06-05 04:34 am (UTC)(no subject)
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Date: 2011-06-06 03:00 am (UTC)Thank you for reading!
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Date: 2011-06-06 02:52 am (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2011-06-06 03:00 am (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2011-07-12 08:55 am (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2011-07-12 02:31 pm (UTC)Thanks for reading!