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tigriswolfTitle: The old hope is hardest to be lost
Fandom: Avengers movieverse
Disclaimer: not my characters; title from Elizabeth Barrett Browning
Warnings: post-Avengers 2 & Cap3; insecurity issues
Pairings: Steve/Bucky
Rating: PG
Wordcount: 615
Point of view: third
Prompt: Any, Any, "No weapons, no friends, no hope. Take all that away and what's left?"
He spent 25 years as a little guy and then 3 as Captain America, so when the pulse of light hits him and he's suddenly a foot shorter and wheezing, it doesn't even faze him. It's everybody else that freaks out.
.
"Holy fuck, you're pocket-sized!" Clint crows as soon as they're told Steve's not in danger of keeling over dead. (No one believed him when he said it, but Stark and Banner team up with the only doctor Clint and Nat both trust and they figure out that it'll wear off in a month at the latest. Steve's not sure how but he'll take their word for it.)
Steve feels better now than he ever did before the serum. And he can go for walks without being mobbed by people, so that's a plus. He's not allowed out on calls with the team, but he still has command via the coms, and while he keeps up with his training as much as he can, he's got hours now that he didn't before the pulse.
.
"How did you even survive?" Stark demands while Steve is panting on the common area's couch. This time, he was able to do 10 laps before he had to stop. He's still got two weeks before he should be back to nor- back. His post-serum body isn't normal, it's a gift.
"Bucky," Steve gasps, tilting his head back to look at Stark.
Stark rolls his eyes. "Of course it took a cyborg-assassin to keep you alive."
Steve doesn't bother replying; he just tries to breathe.
.
Scumbags don't take a break just because Captain America is out of commission. He's out restocking his art supplies (Natasha and Clint "borrowed" his charcoal and he's given up on getting them back) when he sees a mugging. Of course he tries to chase the guy down.
Before, he'd have never caught up. Now, he does. And he actually does pretty well, until the guy kicks him in the ribs.
"Man, who the fuck are you?" the mugger shouts as Steve struggles back to his feet.
Steve laughs, dodging the guy's next kick. One of the bystanders (an off-duty cop, Steve's pretty sure) steps in to help as Steve says, "I'm just a kid from Brooklyn."
.
"I'm surprised you didn't take him out," Steve says when Bucky breaks into his room via the balcony. (Bucky's on Steve's always-admit list with Jarvis, but he likes the balcony more than the front door. Steve's given up protesting. It makes Bucky happy, anyway.)
"You had him on the ropes," Bucky says, throwing himself onto the couch beside Steve. Steve sets aside his sketchbook so that Bucky can sprawl over him.
These past few weeks, Steve has felt more at home than he had since the serum. He fits in Bucky's arms again; Bucky can completely cover him. He knew he'd missed that; he just wasn't aware of how much.
"We'll have to step up the sparring," Bucky says. "Get you back in fighting shape."
Steve nods into his neck and sighs.
"What's wrong?" Bucky asks.
Steve sighs again. "I just… a part of me doesn't want it back," he confesses. There is no one else in the world he'd dare admit it to, but this is Bucky. He knew Steve before. He and Peggy – but Peggy only ever knew him after Erskine chose him. Bucky was with him for his whole life.
Bucky twists so that he can look up at Steve. "You're still you, Steve," he says.
Steve just stares down at him, mouth open. Bucky smiles at him. "Aren't you?"
.
"Glad to have you back, Cap," Clint says as they load onto Stark's jet. Steve just smiles at him.
Title: the glory and the freshness of a dream
Fandom: Political Animals
Disclaimer: not my characters; title from Wordsworth
Warnings: post-series; talk of suicidal ideation
Pairings: mentions of canon couples
Rating: PG
Wordcount: 685
Point of view: third
Prompt: Political Animals, TJ/+any or gen, learning to be happy again
Note: Okay, so I figured the show was set in May/June/July, somewhere in there, right? TJ tried to kill himself six months before the premiere, and that was in December. So: Juneish or Julyish
Anne and Dougie are off on their honeymoon, Mom's dealing with a national crisis, Grandma's trying to stay sober, and Dad - well, Dad's focused on getting Mom's campaign off the ground. And TJ...
Well, TJ's trying to decide if he actually wants to be alive or not. He's so fucking tired of the political machine, of the eyes always watching and judging.
He's got a BA in Political Science because he thought he'd be going into the family business. He spent almost five years nearly totally clean, and he was doing so good - but he was utterly miserable the whole time, forcing himself through the motions because he wanted to be good, to make them all proud. So he made a 4.0 every semester, and he thought maybe he'd finally make up for those last couple years in the White House.
Yeah, that ended in one weekend that's totally blank in his mind, and he never used that degree for anything. That's why Mom has Doug, ever the golden one.
But TJ, he doesn't want to die. He wants to live, to be happy, and that's not going to happen in the fishbowl where he's always news and it's never good. He stopped living when he was sixteen, but he doesn't want to be that mess of hatred and anger and fear anymore.
He misses the piano. He misses the beauty that just poured out of him, how he could lose himself. When he hit the zone, he was flying in a way no drug has ever managed.
So he takes a week to list all the pros and cons, researches, delves deep into himself to decide if he wants to do this, if he can do this.
He can. He wants to. He will.
He doesn't mention it to anyone when he applies to the University of Washington's music department for the fall semester. He doesn't mention it to anyone when he gets accepted, and then he breathes a sigh of relief and collapses onto the couch in his grandma's den.
He hated political science. He hates politics. He can play the game like a goddamned master when he wants to – but he doesn't want to. He never has. And if he stays in the spotlight any longer, he's going to burn out.
He still doesn't tell anyone, not until his audition date is set in stone. Grandma asks him a few times why he's playing so much; he's been feeling so inspired lately, with his exit strategy in place, with the end in sight. He's been composing so much his hands hurt, playing so much the notes resonant in his sleep.
And he's happy. He's happier than he ever was with Sean, and that realization is why he finally figures out that he's glad Mom found him. Glad to be alive.
He waits until everyone is over, Dad and Dougie and Anne and Grandma and Mom, waits until they're halfway through dinner, and he says, "I'm leaving for an audition in three days. In Seattle. I've already got an apartment lined up." They all stare at him, but he just continues, head held high, "I've been accepted to the University of Washington. I'll be staying no matter what."
"TJ," Dougie says, "what the fuck?"
TJ smiles. "It's what I want to do," he tells them. "It's what I'm going to do. I love all of you, but I've got to get out."
Mom's staring at him, but Dad's smiling a little, and Grandma toasts him with her lemonade (he's pretty sure it's been spiked with something), and Annie shrugs.
"Do you want to hear my audition piece?" he asks and they all do.
.
He flies commercial, though in first class. He leaves most of his belongings behind because this is a new life. TJ Hammond is the fuck up son of President Hammond and (future) President Barrish – he's going to be Jim now, Jim Hammond.
So Jim Hammond sits down for his audition and plays the best he ever has in his life, and he knows that he's finally begun to live.
Title: Lazarus smiled the smile of the dead
Fandom: Political Animals
Disclaimer: not my characters; title from Anne Sexton
Warnings: pre-series
Pairings: none
Rating: PG
Wordcount: 250
Point of view: third
Prompt: Political Animals, TJ + Doug, Doug read his journal once when they were kids
Note: Yes, that is a nod to Kings.
TJ used to write these stories and he never wanted anybody to see them. After a couple months of his brother fleeing the room with his notebook, of hiding it away, Doug's curiosity got the best of him and he waited till TJ and Grandma were at some boring music thing and then he systematically searched TJ's study room till he found it.
The stories weren't very good, of course; nobody is a good writer at 11, 12, 13. But Doug was captivated.
The main character (looking back with adult eyes) was a barely-concealed wish fulfillment of TJ's: a boy named JB, son of the king, who tried and tried his best all the time and eventually got everything he wanted (which included the love of a neighboring prince, but Doug didn't really notice that at the time). JB even had a twin, though it was a sister instead of a brother.
Looking back with adult eyes, Doug realizes those stories were the closest thing TJ ever allowed himself to a diary. He devoured the whole notebook and then put it back because if TJ knew he'd read it, he might destroy it. Doug didn't want the story to be destroyed.
He never told TJ, and he didn't hunt down the second notebook, or the third. And in three years, when TJ was found with that older boy and catapulted into worldwide news – Doug thought about JB and the neighboring prince, how they found their happily ever after…
TJ didn't write anymore and it made Doug want to cry.
Title: They say before you start a war, you better know what you're fighting for
Fandom: Avengers movieverse
Disclaimer: not my characters; title from "Angel with a Shotgun"
Warnings: talk of animal cruelty and violence/death
Pairings: Natasha/Clint
Rating: PG
Wordcount: 815
Point of view: third
Prompt: MCU, Clint/Natasha, Angel with a Shotgun
The few friendlies at SHIELD used to talk about Clint Barton's penchant for strays. He never threw a mission to rescue any dogs, though he came damn close one time and was actually late to the extraction because those douchebags deserved a beating and he delivered it with a stone-cold face and hate in his heart.
SHIELD didn't allow animals in their quarters, so even though he spent his entire life wanting his own dog, he never got one. Before the group home, the neighbors had a dog that loved Clint more than anyone in her own family, and in the group home, there was a stray hanging around till he got hit by a car. In the circus, there were big cats and a few show dogs, but those dogs were mean unless told otherwise and their handler hated Clint for some reason he still doesn't know. And while the cats were cool, they terrified him just as much as they fascinated him.
So, yeah. A thing for strays.
No one had the guts to say anything to his face when he brought the Black Widow home, but he knows they were all thinking it. He knows they thought it was her beauty, or that she'd seduced him into letting her live, that she was playing him, maybe that she'd even turned him and it was all just a con. Maybe that Coulson bringing him in was a con, because he'd been just like Natasha once. (Well, not just like Natasha because she is much better than he'll ever be, but, yeah. Coulson had been sent to kill him.)
Clint Barton is not loyal to organizations. He never has been. He's loyal to Coulson for giving him a chance; he's loyal to Fury for backing Coulson's play when any other director probably would've have him put down, no matter what Coulson said.
Coulson asked him, and Fury demanded to know, why he let the Black Widow live. Why he approached her instead of shooting her from a mile away.
He told Coulson that he saw gentleness in her, that there was something in her wanting another way. He told Fury that she'd be the greatest asset SHIELD ever had, if they gave her even the barest chance.
Natasha, four years after she trusted him, asked, too. He smiled at her and held out a hand, waiting till she moved toward him to touch her, caressing her face with one hand and letting the other rest on her hip. "You gave the last of your food to a hungry mama dog," he told her.
She'd stared at him before her entire face lit up in a true, endearing laugh, the kind utterly unlike her mission laughs.
SHIELD is gone now. Fury and Coulson have both died, though they're both alive again, even though no one's bothered telling Clint. (Well, Natasha told him, when she ordered him to stay gone because the world wasn't safe yet.)
Clint's in Australia, wandering around with no purpose, and there's a stray cattle dog that's been following him (he's named her Tish). He knows that if Natasha needs him, she'll call; he knows that he should be angry about Fury and Coulson both letting him believe they're dead, that he should be beyond pissed about Hydra growing inside SHIELD from the very beginning.
But Clint's never been a company man. He gives his loyalty to people. Coulson and Fury have both broken that loyalty, but he's got Natasha, still.
And he's got a thing for strays. So, late one night, when he wakes up to Tish growling towards the night, he calls, "I've got extra food, you know, if you're hungry." He rubs at Tish's ears till she calms down, and they both watch the man step out of the darkness.
He looks hungry and tired and so damn broken. Clint doesn't ask how the fuck he got from DC to the outback because he knows Natasha and knows that this dude once trained her.
"Hungry?" he asks, nodding toward the packs. "Take your fill. Not like I can't find more."
The man stares at him in silence for a few minutes, but Clint doesn't move and Tish doesn't start growling again, so he finally steps over to the packs and pulls out a sandwich.
In the morning, Clint has two strays following him. It's months before Jimmy (because he's not gonna travel around with "Hey, you") actually holds an entire conversation with Clint, but he's gentle and kind and loving with Tish, and that tells Clint everything he needs to know.
(He lets Natasha know that he's got the goddamned Winter Soldier with him a week after he starts calling the dude Jimmy, and she just replies, You and your strays.
Clint laughs, and that night, he tells Jimmy the story of how he met Natasha, and Jimmy actually smiles at him.)
Title: Climb into my arms with blood on your clothes
Fandom: Avengers movieverse
Disclaimer: not my characters; title from "A Glow"
Warnings: violence/death/torture; post-WS
Pairings: Steve/Bucky leanings, for sure
Rating: PG
Wordcount: 740
Point of view: third
Prompt: MCU, Steve/+Bucky, Okkervil River - A Glow
Once upon a time, there were too little boys who grew up hungry and grew up mean. Yeah, Steve's always fought for the underdog, for those who couldn't defend themselves – that doesn't mean he's bright and brilliant and an ideal to strive towards.
Or, well, it wouldn't mean that if Erskine hadn't seen something in him. That same thing Bucky's always seen, the thing that so many people didn't.
Captain America is a mask. There are things he did that never made it into the history books, that are redacted from reports because there are things that Captain America cannot do.
SHIELD believes the history books. You'd think a government agency would know better… you'd think.
.
Winter Soldier goes to ground and begins burning Hydra alive.
Steve Rogers carries the shield because it is his and he uses it offensively because it's cleaner than guns. He uses guns, too.
Sam Wilson grew up on stories of Gabe Jones and Captain America, but it's Steve he's following, not the sanitized hero from the page and the movies and the TV shows.
.
Steve started the fights and Bucky let him go until he couldn't anymore, and then Bucky stepped in to end the fights very decisively. No one went after Steve Rogers twice, because Bucky Barnes was there waiting, and there was a glint in his eye.
Bucky Barnes was always dangerous.
What no one realizes is that so was Steve Rogers.
.
The hero in the history books would hunt down the monster his best friend became. The hero in the history books would understand lost causes and when to cut his losses.
The hero in the history books never existed, and what's left of SHIELD should've known that when they sent a team to clean up Hydra's mess.
Because when they find the Winter Soldier, he's got Captain America fighting beside him, the Falcon covering them from the air, and there are Hydra agents dying around them.
The team lead pulls up short because they can't attack Captain America – and the situation might have been salvaged had one of the agents not fired at the Soldier, a shot that's blocked by that world-famous shield, and from there it's a bloodbath with only one inevitable outcome.
.
"What are you gonna do with me?" the man who was Bucky Barnes a lifetime ago asks as the Falcon lands behind them.
The man who has always been Steve Rogers first and foremost smiles at him, sliding a bloodstained shield onto his back. "What do you wanna do?" he asks.
The man who wants to be Bucky Barnes says, "Sleep."
Steve smiles at him. "Then that's what we'll do."
.
The hero in the history books never existed. He was a mask, created to be propaganda, and he was very successful.
Steve Rogers fought dirty, and he fought hard, and while prisoners were nice for intel, Zola was one of a handful he ever brought in. Considering how that ended, he doesn't believe in prisoners anymore.
The truth is, Bucky Barnes was always dangerous because the only thing he ever fought for was Steve Rogers. They're good men, they really are – but they're not what the history books say, what the Smithsonian says, what SHIELD thought when Captain America was defrosted, or what Hydra believed their weapon Winter Soldier to be.
Two little boys grew up hungry and they grew up mean. And they should have died in the war, as heroes remembered for the very brave and very great things they'd done.
Sam Wilson tries to minimize the damage, but his heart's not in it. All he has to do is imagine Riley being blasted out of the sky, caught by the enemy, and turned into a mindless weapon. He grew up on the stories of Captain America, that propaganda hero who could do no wrong.
He prefers Steve Rogers.
.
"Where do you see this ending?" Fury demands. Sam's not sure why he picked up the phone.
Natasha kicks them a few missions, and Stark's covering their tracks, and Steve's laughing and Bucky's smiling, and Sam knows that eventually they'll run out of Hydra.
But he knows Steve Rogers, now, and he knows there are always bullies, always underdogs, always people who don't know how to fight for themselves.
So he says honestly, "Bloody and on fire," and then he tosses the phone into the river and catches up to his team.
Fandom: Avengers movieverse
Disclaimer: not my characters; title from Elizabeth Barrett Browning
Warnings: post-Avengers 2 & Cap3; insecurity issues
Pairings: Steve/Bucky
Rating: PG
Wordcount: 615
Point of view: third
Prompt: Any, Any, "No weapons, no friends, no hope. Take all that away and what's left?"
He spent 25 years as a little guy and then 3 as Captain America, so when the pulse of light hits him and he's suddenly a foot shorter and wheezing, it doesn't even faze him. It's everybody else that freaks out.
.
"Holy fuck, you're pocket-sized!" Clint crows as soon as they're told Steve's not in danger of keeling over dead. (No one believed him when he said it, but Stark and Banner team up with the only doctor Clint and Nat both trust and they figure out that it'll wear off in a month at the latest. Steve's not sure how but he'll take their word for it.)
Steve feels better now than he ever did before the serum. And he can go for walks without being mobbed by people, so that's a plus. He's not allowed out on calls with the team, but he still has command via the coms, and while he keeps up with his training as much as he can, he's got hours now that he didn't before the pulse.
.
"How did you even survive?" Stark demands while Steve is panting on the common area's couch. This time, he was able to do 10 laps before he had to stop. He's still got two weeks before he should be back to nor- back. His post-serum body isn't normal, it's a gift.
"Bucky," Steve gasps, tilting his head back to look at Stark.
Stark rolls his eyes. "Of course it took a cyborg-assassin to keep you alive."
Steve doesn't bother replying; he just tries to breathe.
.
Scumbags don't take a break just because Captain America is out of commission. He's out restocking his art supplies (Natasha and Clint "borrowed" his charcoal and he's given up on getting them back) when he sees a mugging. Of course he tries to chase the guy down.
Before, he'd have never caught up. Now, he does. And he actually does pretty well, until the guy kicks him in the ribs.
"Man, who the fuck are you?" the mugger shouts as Steve struggles back to his feet.
Steve laughs, dodging the guy's next kick. One of the bystanders (an off-duty cop, Steve's pretty sure) steps in to help as Steve says, "I'm just a kid from Brooklyn."
.
"I'm surprised you didn't take him out," Steve says when Bucky breaks into his room via the balcony. (Bucky's on Steve's always-admit list with Jarvis, but he likes the balcony more than the front door. Steve's given up protesting. It makes Bucky happy, anyway.)
"You had him on the ropes," Bucky says, throwing himself onto the couch beside Steve. Steve sets aside his sketchbook so that Bucky can sprawl over him.
These past few weeks, Steve has felt more at home than he had since the serum. He fits in Bucky's arms again; Bucky can completely cover him. He knew he'd missed that; he just wasn't aware of how much.
"We'll have to step up the sparring," Bucky says. "Get you back in fighting shape."
Steve nods into his neck and sighs.
"What's wrong?" Bucky asks.
Steve sighs again. "I just… a part of me doesn't want it back," he confesses. There is no one else in the world he'd dare admit it to, but this is Bucky. He knew Steve before. He and Peggy – but Peggy only ever knew him after Erskine chose him. Bucky was with him for his whole life.
Bucky twists so that he can look up at Steve. "You're still you, Steve," he says.
Steve just stares down at him, mouth open. Bucky smiles at him. "Aren't you?"
.
"Glad to have you back, Cap," Clint says as they load onto Stark's jet. Steve just smiles at him.
Title: the glory and the freshness of a dream
Fandom: Political Animals
Disclaimer: not my characters; title from Wordsworth
Warnings: post-series; talk of suicidal ideation
Pairings: mentions of canon couples
Rating: PG
Wordcount: 685
Point of view: third
Prompt: Political Animals, TJ/+any or gen, learning to be happy again
Note: Okay, so I figured the show was set in May/June/July, somewhere in there, right? TJ tried to kill himself six months before the premiere, and that was in December. So: Juneish or Julyish
Anne and Dougie are off on their honeymoon, Mom's dealing with a national crisis, Grandma's trying to stay sober, and Dad - well, Dad's focused on getting Mom's campaign off the ground. And TJ...
Well, TJ's trying to decide if he actually wants to be alive or not. He's so fucking tired of the political machine, of the eyes always watching and judging.
He's got a BA in Political Science because he thought he'd be going into the family business. He spent almost five years nearly totally clean, and he was doing so good - but he was utterly miserable the whole time, forcing himself through the motions because he wanted to be good, to make them all proud. So he made a 4.0 every semester, and he thought maybe he'd finally make up for those last couple years in the White House.
Yeah, that ended in one weekend that's totally blank in his mind, and he never used that degree for anything. That's why Mom has Doug, ever the golden one.
But TJ, he doesn't want to die. He wants to live, to be happy, and that's not going to happen in the fishbowl where he's always news and it's never good. He stopped living when he was sixteen, but he doesn't want to be that mess of hatred and anger and fear anymore.
He misses the piano. He misses the beauty that just poured out of him, how he could lose himself. When he hit the zone, he was flying in a way no drug has ever managed.
So he takes a week to list all the pros and cons, researches, delves deep into himself to decide if he wants to do this, if he can do this.
He can. He wants to. He will.
He doesn't mention it to anyone when he applies to the University of Washington's music department for the fall semester. He doesn't mention it to anyone when he gets accepted, and then he breathes a sigh of relief and collapses onto the couch in his grandma's den.
He hated political science. He hates politics. He can play the game like a goddamned master when he wants to – but he doesn't want to. He never has. And if he stays in the spotlight any longer, he's going to burn out.
He still doesn't tell anyone, not until his audition date is set in stone. Grandma asks him a few times why he's playing so much; he's been feeling so inspired lately, with his exit strategy in place, with the end in sight. He's been composing so much his hands hurt, playing so much the notes resonant in his sleep.
And he's happy. He's happier than he ever was with Sean, and that realization is why he finally figures out that he's glad Mom found him. Glad to be alive.
He waits until everyone is over, Dad and Dougie and Anne and Grandma and Mom, waits until they're halfway through dinner, and he says, "I'm leaving for an audition in three days. In Seattle. I've already got an apartment lined up." They all stare at him, but he just continues, head held high, "I've been accepted to the University of Washington. I'll be staying no matter what."
"TJ," Dougie says, "what the fuck?"
TJ smiles. "It's what I want to do," he tells them. "It's what I'm going to do. I love all of you, but I've got to get out."
Mom's staring at him, but Dad's smiling a little, and Grandma toasts him with her lemonade (he's pretty sure it's been spiked with something), and Annie shrugs.
"Do you want to hear my audition piece?" he asks and they all do.
.
He flies commercial, though in first class. He leaves most of his belongings behind because this is a new life. TJ Hammond is the fuck up son of President Hammond and (future) President Barrish – he's going to be Jim now, Jim Hammond.
So Jim Hammond sits down for his audition and plays the best he ever has in his life, and he knows that he's finally begun to live.
Title: Lazarus smiled the smile of the dead
Fandom: Political Animals
Disclaimer: not my characters; title from Anne Sexton
Warnings: pre-series
Pairings: none
Rating: PG
Wordcount: 250
Point of view: third
Prompt: Political Animals, TJ + Doug, Doug read his journal once when they were kids
Note: Yes, that is a nod to Kings.
TJ used to write these stories and he never wanted anybody to see them. After a couple months of his brother fleeing the room with his notebook, of hiding it away, Doug's curiosity got the best of him and he waited till TJ and Grandma were at some boring music thing and then he systematically searched TJ's study room till he found it.
The stories weren't very good, of course; nobody is a good writer at 11, 12, 13. But Doug was captivated.
The main character (looking back with adult eyes) was a barely-concealed wish fulfillment of TJ's: a boy named JB, son of the king, who tried and tried his best all the time and eventually got everything he wanted (which included the love of a neighboring prince, but Doug didn't really notice that at the time). JB even had a twin, though it was a sister instead of a brother.
Looking back with adult eyes, Doug realizes those stories were the closest thing TJ ever allowed himself to a diary. He devoured the whole notebook and then put it back because if TJ knew he'd read it, he might destroy it. Doug didn't want the story to be destroyed.
He never told TJ, and he didn't hunt down the second notebook, or the third. And in three years, when TJ was found with that older boy and catapulted into worldwide news – Doug thought about JB and the neighboring prince, how they found their happily ever after…
TJ didn't write anymore and it made Doug want to cry.
Title: They say before you start a war, you better know what you're fighting for
Fandom: Avengers movieverse
Disclaimer: not my characters; title from "Angel with a Shotgun"
Warnings: talk of animal cruelty and violence/death
Pairings: Natasha/Clint
Rating: PG
Wordcount: 815
Point of view: third
Prompt: MCU, Clint/Natasha, Angel with a Shotgun
The few friendlies at SHIELD used to talk about Clint Barton's penchant for strays. He never threw a mission to rescue any dogs, though he came damn close one time and was actually late to the extraction because those douchebags deserved a beating and he delivered it with a stone-cold face and hate in his heart.
SHIELD didn't allow animals in their quarters, so even though he spent his entire life wanting his own dog, he never got one. Before the group home, the neighbors had a dog that loved Clint more than anyone in her own family, and in the group home, there was a stray hanging around till he got hit by a car. In the circus, there were big cats and a few show dogs, but those dogs were mean unless told otherwise and their handler hated Clint for some reason he still doesn't know. And while the cats were cool, they terrified him just as much as they fascinated him.
So, yeah. A thing for strays.
No one had the guts to say anything to his face when he brought the Black Widow home, but he knows they were all thinking it. He knows they thought it was her beauty, or that she'd seduced him into letting her live, that she was playing him, maybe that she'd even turned him and it was all just a con. Maybe that Coulson bringing him in was a con, because he'd been just like Natasha once. (Well, not just like Natasha because she is much better than he'll ever be, but, yeah. Coulson had been sent to kill him.)
Clint Barton is not loyal to organizations. He never has been. He's loyal to Coulson for giving him a chance; he's loyal to Fury for backing Coulson's play when any other director probably would've have him put down, no matter what Coulson said.
Coulson asked him, and Fury demanded to know, why he let the Black Widow live. Why he approached her instead of shooting her from a mile away.
He told Coulson that he saw gentleness in her, that there was something in her wanting another way. He told Fury that she'd be the greatest asset SHIELD ever had, if they gave her even the barest chance.
Natasha, four years after she trusted him, asked, too. He smiled at her and held out a hand, waiting till she moved toward him to touch her, caressing her face with one hand and letting the other rest on her hip. "You gave the last of your food to a hungry mama dog," he told her.
She'd stared at him before her entire face lit up in a true, endearing laugh, the kind utterly unlike her mission laughs.
SHIELD is gone now. Fury and Coulson have both died, though they're both alive again, even though no one's bothered telling Clint. (Well, Natasha told him, when she ordered him to stay gone because the world wasn't safe yet.)
Clint's in Australia, wandering around with no purpose, and there's a stray cattle dog that's been following him (he's named her Tish). He knows that if Natasha needs him, she'll call; he knows that he should be angry about Fury and Coulson both letting him believe they're dead, that he should be beyond pissed about Hydra growing inside SHIELD from the very beginning.
But Clint's never been a company man. He gives his loyalty to people. Coulson and Fury have both broken that loyalty, but he's got Natasha, still.
And he's got a thing for strays. So, late one night, when he wakes up to Tish growling towards the night, he calls, "I've got extra food, you know, if you're hungry." He rubs at Tish's ears till she calms down, and they both watch the man step out of the darkness.
He looks hungry and tired and so damn broken. Clint doesn't ask how the fuck he got from DC to the outback because he knows Natasha and knows that this dude once trained her.
"Hungry?" he asks, nodding toward the packs. "Take your fill. Not like I can't find more."
The man stares at him in silence for a few minutes, but Clint doesn't move and Tish doesn't start growling again, so he finally steps over to the packs and pulls out a sandwich.
In the morning, Clint has two strays following him. It's months before Jimmy (because he's not gonna travel around with "Hey, you") actually holds an entire conversation with Clint, but he's gentle and kind and loving with Tish, and that tells Clint everything he needs to know.
(He lets Natasha know that he's got the goddamned Winter Soldier with him a week after he starts calling the dude Jimmy, and she just replies, You and your strays.
Clint laughs, and that night, he tells Jimmy the story of how he met Natasha, and Jimmy actually smiles at him.)
Title: Climb into my arms with blood on your clothes
Fandom: Avengers movieverse
Disclaimer: not my characters; title from "A Glow"
Warnings: violence/death/torture; post-WS
Pairings: Steve/Bucky leanings, for sure
Rating: PG
Wordcount: 740
Point of view: third
Prompt: MCU, Steve/+Bucky, Okkervil River - A Glow
Once upon a time, there were too little boys who grew up hungry and grew up mean. Yeah, Steve's always fought for the underdog, for those who couldn't defend themselves – that doesn't mean he's bright and brilliant and an ideal to strive towards.
Or, well, it wouldn't mean that if Erskine hadn't seen something in him. That same thing Bucky's always seen, the thing that so many people didn't.
Captain America is a mask. There are things he did that never made it into the history books, that are redacted from reports because there are things that Captain America cannot do.
SHIELD believes the history books. You'd think a government agency would know better… you'd think.
.
Winter Soldier goes to ground and begins burning Hydra alive.
Steve Rogers carries the shield because it is his and he uses it offensively because it's cleaner than guns. He uses guns, too.
Sam Wilson grew up on stories of Gabe Jones and Captain America, but it's Steve he's following, not the sanitized hero from the page and the movies and the TV shows.
.
Steve started the fights and Bucky let him go until he couldn't anymore, and then Bucky stepped in to end the fights very decisively. No one went after Steve Rogers twice, because Bucky Barnes was there waiting, and there was a glint in his eye.
Bucky Barnes was always dangerous.
What no one realizes is that so was Steve Rogers.
.
The hero in the history books would hunt down the monster his best friend became. The hero in the history books would understand lost causes and when to cut his losses.
The hero in the history books never existed, and what's left of SHIELD should've known that when they sent a team to clean up Hydra's mess.
Because when they find the Winter Soldier, he's got Captain America fighting beside him, the Falcon covering them from the air, and there are Hydra agents dying around them.
The team lead pulls up short because they can't attack Captain America – and the situation might have been salvaged had one of the agents not fired at the Soldier, a shot that's blocked by that world-famous shield, and from there it's a bloodbath with only one inevitable outcome.
.
"What are you gonna do with me?" the man who was Bucky Barnes a lifetime ago asks as the Falcon lands behind them.
The man who has always been Steve Rogers first and foremost smiles at him, sliding a bloodstained shield onto his back. "What do you wanna do?" he asks.
The man who wants to be Bucky Barnes says, "Sleep."
Steve smiles at him. "Then that's what we'll do."
.
The hero in the history books never existed. He was a mask, created to be propaganda, and he was very successful.
Steve Rogers fought dirty, and he fought hard, and while prisoners were nice for intel, Zola was one of a handful he ever brought in. Considering how that ended, he doesn't believe in prisoners anymore.
The truth is, Bucky Barnes was always dangerous because the only thing he ever fought for was Steve Rogers. They're good men, they really are – but they're not what the history books say, what the Smithsonian says, what SHIELD thought when Captain America was defrosted, or what Hydra believed their weapon Winter Soldier to be.
Two little boys grew up hungry and they grew up mean. And they should have died in the war, as heroes remembered for the very brave and very great things they'd done.
Sam Wilson tries to minimize the damage, but his heart's not in it. All he has to do is imagine Riley being blasted out of the sky, caught by the enemy, and turned into a mindless weapon. He grew up on the stories of Captain America, that propaganda hero who could do no wrong.
He prefers Steve Rogers.
.
"Where do you see this ending?" Fury demands. Sam's not sure why he picked up the phone.
Natasha kicks them a few missions, and Stark's covering their tracks, and Steve's laughing and Bucky's smiling, and Sam knows that eventually they'll run out of Hydra.
But he knows Steve Rogers, now, and he knows there are always bullies, always underdogs, always people who don't know how to fight for themselves.
So he says honestly, "Bloody and on fire," and then he tosses the phone into the river and catches up to his team.
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(no subject)
Date: 2014-08-23 11:47 am (UTC)Loved the story how Clint collected the 'stray' Winter Soldier - a magnets of strays of any form, human or animal *lol* Steve would be happy about this.
And I so can see how Steve is just so much more that a just man of America, a man with some life codes that don't break the surface of wholesome goodness... and how his friends appreciate it. Great stuff *hearts*
(no subject)
Date: 2014-08-24 05:03 am (UTC)Thank you for reading!