Raconteur - SN fic - PG13

[tigriswolf]

Title: Raconteur
Fandom: "Supernatural"
Disclaimer: Narrator's mine. That's about it.  Just for fun.
Warnings: AU?  Inspired by the lovely eppie "Crossroad Blues"
Pairings: mentions of John/Mary
Rating: PG-13
Wordcount: rounding up to 1060
Point of view: first
Notes: I don't know where this came from.  But the first sentence popped into my head while I was mulling over "Crossroad Blues."  And it all kind of flowed from there.

 

 

It’s easy to second-guess someone who isn’t there to explain, and wouldn’t even if he were there, because, damn it, don’t you know John Winchester is always right? Even when he’s wrong.

 

And in this case? Oh, yes, dear old Johnny, Papa of the Winchester clan, was very fucking wrong. 

 

Not that he’ll ever admit it. But everyone knows.

 

Everyone.

 

You see—oh, stop that pacing. Not like it’s going to make me talk faster. All you’re doing is getting on my very last nerve, and that won’t let you hear any sooner. Understand? Good.

 

Where was I?

 

Ah, yes, where Daddy fucked up but good. 

 

See, the thing is, there’s always a choice, right? Always, always a choice. Someone’s, for good or ill, for forever.   And your mother, boy? She made a choice. She made a choice and she made it quick, brutal, eternal—her for you. 

 

You heard me right. For you. 

 

Shake your head all you want, it won’t change a thing. Deny it till the day you die—and that is a very far off day, lovie—it’ll still be true.   Always true. Forever true, a truth that not even Jehovah Himself in His hall of pearl and ivory can turn false. 

 

Something is taken and something is given… something is lost, another thing found. 

 

You were never in danger, not since your mother burned. John could search the world, but he wouldn’t find the demon till It wanted to be found, and that would only be when It discovered a way around your mother’s promise. 

 

Salvation is in your blood, you know. But you don’t, do you? She didn’t get the chance to tell you, either of you.

 

But everyone keeps dying, taking your place, and you don’t understand why. You don’t think you’re worthy, good enough, think you haven’t earned it.

 

You don’t earn sacrifice, Dean. You can’t. It’s given to you, freely, with no expectation of remuneration, because there is none.   Your mother chose, your father chose—and Marshall Hall never got the choice, but neither did you or Sam, so you have to stop blaming yourself for that. You didn’t take the heart from his chest; Sue Ann, the bitch, did. And if it hadn’t gone to you, it’d have gone to someone else. He was dead either way, and how much good have you done with his heart?

 

More than most men will ever manage in their lifetime. Much more. And it isn’t finished. Not by a long shot.

 

But, see, the thing is? Now there’s a void. He thought he was saving you, but he only opened a door. And now… now, things are crawling out of that door, nasty things, dark things. They’re hunters, kind of like you, but not really like you, because you’re good at a base level and they only want to sow destruction and then reap the blood. 

 

What did I say about pacing? Now, was that language called for? I didn’t script this, Dean. You think I want this? Think I want to know what happened, what will happen, and what is happening? You’re cracking beneath the load, taking too heavy a burden, and won’t let anyone help. Not even Sam. 

 

Everyone who’s anyone knows what John did. Jehovah and Beezelebub and everyone in-between. It echoes between this world and the next, shakes the foundations of Heaven.

 

She died for you, so that this wouldn’t come to pass. She knew, you see. She knew.  

 

Sam… he’s not what they’re after, that demon and It’s horde. Not really. Even It was fooled for a while, though, fooled for a long while. She was good, your mother, one of the best weavers the world has ever seen. Will ever see. And the deception… it was flawless. 

 

But then John made the deal. They’re called devil deals for a reason, and they always come back to bite their makers in the ass.

 

With big fucking fangs.

 

Stop the pacing! Damn, but what a nightmare you must have been, huh? Never able to sit still except when you’re about to kill something, always gotta move, gotta move. Sheesh.

 

And you keep making me lose my train of thought. 

 

Oh, god, not the puppy eyes. Has anyone ever told you just how damn big your eyes are? Just like that kitty from the ogre movie.

 

Never, ever tell anyone I said kitty, okay? Thank you.

 

Don’t worry, I was almost done anyway. I’m sure he’s fine on his own for a few hours, Dean. He’s got his own guardians, almost as good as yours. 

 

See… how can I put this? I have all these pretty phrases, platitudes and the like… but you don’t want those. You don’t want fancy wrapping and beautiful bows. You just want the truth, even if you can’t handle it.

 

Which you can, you know. You could carry mountains, if you had to. Easily. 

 

Don’t look so puffed up. The old and dying give compliments away at the drop of a hat. Not that that makes it less true…

 

And, yep, there goes my train of thought… god, what a distraction you are.

 

He thought he did the right thing, your father. Giving himself for his son, his eldest, his soldier. For you. But… you were never on the edge. You weren’t dying, you were just resting. Recharging. 

 

The demon thought It wanted your brother, but this thing has always been about you. Sam is a good consolation prize, and things are about to get far more messy because now everything knows it.

 

Your mother sealed the door shut with blood and fire. Your father blew it wide open with determination and a Colt. 

 

Life’s funny that way.

 

The fact that he screwed the world over and made things a billion times worse doesn’t negate that he did it with love. 

 

No… I’m fine. Really. Just old. I’ve seen so much, that’s happened and will… but, now, at last. It’s done. I’m done. I’ve waited years to tell you…

 

There’s always a choice, Dean. And what your dad told you? It’s the truth. You were always walking a hard road, but there’s a second side to any event, and you don’t have to walk alone.

 

Now, go on. Get out of here and let an old woman rest. He’s waiting for you. 

 

 

 

 

Comments

[faithintheboys.livejournal.com]

Aww, that was cute. I loved it!

[tigriswolf]

Thank you for reading!

[whisp.livejournal.com]

Very cool fic. I loved the conversational tone of the narrator and the matter-of-fact way she delivered the lecture. I can imagine the look on Dean's face as he's listening to all this.

I loved these lines:
But everyone keeps dying, taking your place, and you don’t understand why. You don’t think you’re worthy, good enough, think you haven’t earned it.

You don’t earn sacrifice, Dean. You can’t. It’s given to you, freely, with no expectation of remuneration, because there is none.

We should tattoo those words on Dean so he won't forget them. Great work on the fic!

[tigriswolf]

We _really_ should.

Thank you for reading! I'm glad you enjoyed it.

[astrothsknot.livejournal.com]

I love this. plays into a theory i got. It's the way Celine when summoned by John seems to dismiss Sam out of hand, but changes his tone when he dismisses Dean, like if he says it enough it'll come true.

[tigriswolf]

Thank you for reading!

I think it would be totally awesome if it turns out that everything was about Dean all along, and even The Demon didn't know it for a while.

[shadowchaser44.livejournal.com]

Great story! And this?

//Your mother sealed the door shut with blood and fire. Your father blew it wide open with determination and a Colt.

Life’s funny that way.//

Brilliant. It also makes one wonder if John and Mary ever really talked, as in listened and truly understood each other, or if they'd have agreed with the choices the other made.

[tigriswolf]

Thank you for reading!

I doubt Mary would be happy with the life John gave their boys, but, well... he did do something right, after all. Otherwise, they wouldn't be such good men.

[shadowchaser44.livejournal.com]

I agree she'd have certainly wanted an easier life for them, but they certainly wouldn't be the men they are today. And I do think John did the best he knew how to do, under extremely bizarre circumstances.

Wonder what kind of AU would have happened if she'd died in a more natural fire and John had never learned of the existence of demons? Nah, boring show.

[tigriswolf]

Hmm...

John would probably either move on with his life or go down the tequila route. Dean would probably still try his best and Sam would still try to escape, depending on if Johnny was a drunk or normal guy.

What if John was a drunk, Sam fled to college and safety, and Dean fell of the deep end, becoming a psycho serial killer like Ben of "Dark Angel" fame.

I'd watch that. But I am a twisted, sick little puppy.

[shadowchaser44.livejournal.com]

Ooh! Never saw Dark Angel, but Dark!Dean sounds fascinating. I'd watch that...especially if he needed to contact Sam for some reason, and Sam decided to help him out. Not realizing, of course, the whole psycho serial killer thing, until it was too late, and he had to either keep the secret or turn Dean in.

Damn. Must not come up with plots. I don't have time to write any more fan fic. Must not...

Damn.

[tigriswolf]

Ben is tied with Dean as my all-time favorite character of anything ever.

You should check out "Pollo Loco" of DA season 1 if you get the chance.

[shadowchaser44.livejournal.com]

Maybe I can rent the DVDs. Thanks for the tip!

[tigriswolf]

Did you ever?

[shadowc44.livejournal.com]

Ack! I feel so guilty! I actually bought used copies of both seasons, but haven't watched them yet. At the moment, anything that isn't Supernatural is kind of off my radar. But the sets are sitting there, along with Season 2 of Joan of Arcadia, which used to be one of my favorite shows, ever, and I haven't watched that set either.

One of these days, though, I'm going to give in to everybody's recommendations and watch Dark Angel, though! Or at least Season 2, or that one specific episode!

I've had a lot of Dark!Dean or Evil!Dean ideas lately, all revolving around the same concept, but I'm not sure if I'm ever going to write it. As far as I know, no one has come up with this particular idea yet, so it might be worth writing. Naturally, I'm in the middle of about half a dozen other stories, but this particular bunny keeps hopping around, trying to get my attention. Thanks for reminding me about Dark Angel!

[tigriswolf]

Be sure to watch "Pollo Loco" first! Disk five of season one. It's tied as the best Jensen performance I've seen.

Also, keep the remote close. Unless you're a Jessica Alba fan, you'll want to fast-forward a lot.

[shadowc44.livejournal.com]

Thanks for the warning! No, I'm not a Jessica Alba fan, so unless I'm really thrilled with the overall show, I might well fast-forward to Jensen's scenes!

[ittyb.livejournal.com]

Thanks for self-pimping on TWoP. I like this. I really like this! (umm, in my head, it's Sally Field's voice saying this, I'm just kinda weird)

[tigriswolf]

I honestly haven't thought of what she would sound like. 'cause, in my head, she sounds like me. And now I don't think that works.

Darn.

Thank you for reading!

[boogirl13.livejournal.com]

Very nice. I can totally see Dean pacing. And would love Kripke to read this and make the same spin on the show. Not Sam, but Dean??!! Eeeeeee!!

[tigriswolf]

I would head up to Vancouver and make him brownies if he did that.

Thank you for reading!

[belleimani.livejournal.com]

This is so fantastic and plays into so many theories I have regarding the Demon and the boys.

[tigriswolf]

Thank you for reading!

[belleimani.livejournal.com]

You're welcome!

[gwaevalarin.livejournal.com]

That was a great read and totally different from every fanfic I've ever read.

[tigriswolf]

Thank you!

[eboniorchid.livejournal.com]

Very cool! I've certainly read a few stories where the big fight turned out to be about Dean, but I've never heard it put quite like this. I'm really intrigued with the idea that Mary sealed him all safe (kind of like HPotter's mom) and John, out of love of course, put a crack in the armor by basically selling his soul for Dean's. Very nice job with this!

[tigriswolf]

Thank you! Along with Dean loving horses, it's my canon that the fight is more about him than Sam. *hee*

[eboniorchid.livejournal.com]

Ah, interesting, my personal fanon definitely has it being about both of them and not just about Sam, but actually SamandDean, like whatever they could offer either side of the fight in a united sense or in a brother-on-brother each on one side of the battle sense. :)

[tigriswolf]

I've written that, too. I just like Dean and Sam, either together or apart... but, _definitely_ more together.