Hesitation - SN fic - PG13

[tigriswolf]

Title: Hesitation
Fandom: "Supernatural"
Disclaimer: not my characters.  just for fun.
Warnings: spoilers for "Croatoan" and "Bloodlust"
Pairings: none
Rating: PG-13
Wordcount: 300ish
Point of view: third

Eyes entreat him—terrified brown in front of him and wounded green locked outside—don’t do this, don’t become a killer, please, he(I) is(am) innocent—

I didn’t hesitate, the dark voice echoes in his memory. And neither would you.

His finger tightens on the trigger; Duane shudders and begs before him. Sam, in the back of his mind, asks him to hold off—they can’t be sure, not yet.

This isn’t a crazed man coming at him with a knife. This isn’t a woman who already proved herself infected by throwing Sam into a cabinet. This is a young man who can’t be older than Sam, clearly terrified to die.

-

Sarge is right and he knows it. They all know it. But Dean won’t allow anyone to pull a trigger. He convinces Sarge and Duane and the doc to go, locks himself in with his infected little brother, and speaks.

There is so much to say but he can’t find all the words he needs.

Sammy—I didn’t hesitate. And neither would you.—begs him to leave. Begs him to live. To continue on.

Sammy doesn’t get it. He never has. Dad’s gone, and Mom, Mom he barely remembers. All Dean has left is Sam. So, when Sammy dies, so will Dean.

It’s that simple. That easy. He’s just so tired… the silence will be a relief.

-

Only when it’s too late and everything is spilled forth beneath the sun does Dean caress the gun and know he should have pulled the trigger.

I didn’t hesitate, Gordon whispers in his head. But you did. And look now to what has come of it. 

Comments

[tigriswolf]

You're not stupid, I promise. But eventually, after everything(you know, they realize Duane was Meg2.0 or whatever) Dean learns he _should_ have pulled the trigger. Whether on Sam or Duane is up to you.

[ghausia.livejournal.com]

You know how everyone called Kripke a tease when he only showed Dean's bare arms in Asylum, not his torso? You just surpassed that! But I give you a Jsquared hump...I mean hug all the same.

[tigriswolf]

_I_ surpassed _Kripke_? Wow... thank you for such a compliment!

I'm not quite sure how I managed it, but thank you nonetheless!