Love of the Game - A Little Inside fic - PG13

[tigriswolf]

Title: Love of the Game
Fandom: A Little Inside(Jared Padalecki movie)
Disclaimer: none of the characters contained herein are mine.  I wrote this because I'm twisted and youngJared is cute.
Warnings: spoilers for movie
Pairings: Ed/Robyn, Ed/Sarah, Ed/Matt
Rating: PG13
Wordcount: 930
Point of view: third

        

           Robyn was his whole world till Abby. She was kind and funny and beautiful—her smile could make him happy for days. And she chose him. In eleventh grade she chose him and never looked back.

            He thought she should, sometimes, because he had a temper and he could be hard to be around. But whenever he got to being like that, Robyn would just smile her sad little broken smile and softly run her fingers through his hair. 

            “I love you, Eddie Mills,” she’d say and gently press her lips to his temple. “No matter how many jagged edges you have.” And then she’d trace his jaw with her other fingers. “No matter how hard you shove me away, I’m not goin’ anywhere. And that’s a promise.”

            He’d calm down and kiss her and apologize with his body. She always forgave him. She was Robyn and knew no other way to be.

 

            He heard the news after playing the best game of baseball in his life.

            Robyn died after being thrown from the car because her seatbelt failed. She flew through the windshield, twenty feet in the air, and hit the ground hard, breaking almost every bone in her body.

            Abby, in the backseat, wasn’t hurt at all, but she wailed for days.

            He couldn’t let Abby out of his sight for months. He held her nearly every second of the day, terrified of putting her down. And as she grew, he kept her as close as possible. He taught her baseball, even though he knew her interests lay elsewhere. He worked as a mechanic while he longed to play again. He strangled his dreams to keep Abby happy. 

She looked more like Robyn everyday.

 

When Matt first spoke to him, Ed thought of Great Dane puppies romping through a field. Matt was energetic and Ed could barely remember being so young

Matt kept talking to him no matter how Ed discouraged him. He either didn’t know how or when to shut up. He told Ed about school, his siblings, how his dad loved playing baseball but wasn’t any good. He informed Ed at great length about the college teams, the major and minor leagues.

And he asked questions. Ed hadn’t really discussed himself in years but Matt would quiet when Ed talked. So Ed did.

 

Abby wanted ballet over baseball. When the guys at work heard about it, they mocked and mocked—except Matt. He just asked about a truck.

So Ed told him to come on and took him to the park where he started playing baseball again.

The kid was good and Ed hadn’t lost his touch over the years.

Ed wanted to ask him why he wasn’t at school, why his father let him work instead of making him learn, but instead he just showed the kid how to pitch.

 

Abby continued ballet, become more of a little girl every day. And Ed returned to baseball, half a decade older than most of his teammates.

Sarah, the mom of Abby’s best friend, came to his home games, and Matt. Matt who still reminded him of a giant puppy and Sarah who was kind of like Robyn, but just different enough to hurt.

Ed hadn’t touched a woman since Robyn died. He loved her too much to betray her like that—even though he knew she wouldn’t see it as betrayal.

The kid understood his love of the game, listened as he talked about it. Sarah was too complicated, too wrapped up with the girls in his mind.

 

Ed played for the Yankees, his dream since forever. And then he returned to the garage. He started a little league team and hesitantly courted Sarah: she was a good mother for Abby.

But it was Matt who caught his eye, Matt with shaggy dark hair and sharp green eyes. Matt with boundless energy and smiles that never wavered. Matt who was content to play catch for hours.

He knew that Matt adored him, worshipped him, would do anything to please him.

And he hadn’t done anything with anyone since the morning before Robyn was killed.

 

Sarah asked him into her bed the night after Abby and Christa’s Winter Recital. Ed refused kindly and said he’d pick Abby up the next afternoon.

No matter how he hurt Sarah or broke her heart, she’d never take it out on Abby.

So he left her house and met Matt at the park, where they played catch and then a whole other kind of game.

 

Matt didn’t taste like Robyn. And he kissed completely differently. He was taller than Ed and gangly, still growing into his skin. 

Any woman who reminded Ed too much of Robyn caused him pain to just be around, but Matt…

He was gloriously alive and gloriously willing, and Ed had waited so long…

 

Ed and Sarah married the summer after Abby turned twelve. Matt was the Best Man. Sarah had a boyfriend who traveled all over the country and Ed had Matt.

The wedding was for the girls, for stability and a home, for two parents.

Ed only let himself go around Matt, who’d shot up to six foot five and could break Ed in half.

Ed still saw Robyn sometimes, in Matt’s black hair and green eyes. And Ed knew that Matt knew he still loved Robyn and always would. She’d been it for him.

But Matt adored him, worshipped him, would do anything to please him. And Matt would take what he could get.

Sometimes Ed hated himself for that. But only sometimes.

 

Comments

[dairwendan.livejournal.com]

You know, I THOUGHT there was something between them when Ed was showing Matt how to hold the ball . . .

This is nice, I really like it!

Thanks!

[tigriswolf]

Thank _you_ for reading!

[delphinapterus.livejournal.com]

Very nice. I like how Ed never really gets over Robyn and by the end feels guilty about it because of Matt but not getting over Robyn makes some sense to me.

Glad you gave Sarah a boyfriend - that was lovely balance to Matt. Now I sort of want to read about Sarah adn Ed coming to some agreement over Matt and the boyfriend.

Of course when you write "boyfriend who traveled all over the country" I somehow immediately wondered if said boyfriend could be Sam Winchester because of Sarah from "Provenance."

[tigriswolf]

Hmm... an idea. *cackles*

Thank you for reading!