Overprotective Mother Hen, With a Slightly Vicious Streak - SN fic - PG13

[tigriswolf]

  

Title: Overprotective Mother Hen, With a Slightly Vicious Streak

Fandom: “Supernatural”

Disclaimer: not my characters. just for fun.

Warnings: language. Spoilers for season 1.

Pairings: nada

Rating: PG13

Wordcount: 570
Point of view: third and dialogue

Notes: My attempt at humor. The first line bounced into my head and demanded I write about it. Credit to immie_8for her bunny-idea in spn_bunnies, though this is not an answer to that.

 

You fucking shot my car, dude!

 

            It was an accident. Really. Sam would never hurt the car. He loves the car. Not as much as Dean does, of course, because Dean is a freak with possessive tendencies and once he decides something is his, he refuses to let go with the tenacity of a… a… well, Sam can’t think of an apt comparison, but that thing he can’t think of, Dean is totally like it.

            Anyways. It was an accident. Honest.

 

Oh, shit, Dean—I’m sorry.

Sorry? You. Shot. My. Car. 

I didn’t mean to!

You aimed. You fired. At. My. Car!

 

            Dean’s always been over-protective. For as long as Sam has memory, Dean’s been a hovering mother hen somehow bred with an attack-dog. And, yeah, sometimes at school that came in handy—till, you know, Sam shot up a foot in eight months and filled out some. Sam didn’t like fighting; Dean got rush from it. So.

            Sam studied and ignored the kids who hassled him. Dean didn’t study and didn’t ignore the kids who hassled Sam. No one hassled Dean. Ever had, if Sam remembers right, and he bets that he does.

            So, Sam’s used to Dean. He knows which buttons to push when, and knows when to back off. He also knows when to never, ever start something, because Dean—really—has a long temper when it comes to Sam, so when he’s close to losing it?

            Well. Yeah. Sam knows.

 

There was a freaking zombie-werewolf-thing, Dean!

And?

Zombie-werewolf, Dean! A werewolf that’s also a zombie!

So fucking what? 

It was shoot the fucking werewolf or let it EAT YOU!

But you didn’t shoot the fucking werewolf, Sam! You fucking shot my car!

 

            See, Sam knows Dean. Pretty well, truth be told. Better than anyone else alive or dead. 

            And, yeah, that ‘or dead’ is necessary, considering what they’ve seen and what they do.

            Sam gets that Dean’s car is a metaphor for Dean. He takes care of the car when he’s happy; it gets into disrepair when he’s not. Simple. Open and shut.

            So, Sam treats the car with respect. He’s hurt Dean too much already.

            He fucking shot Dean, and damned if he still doesn’t get nightmares where the gun was loaded.

            But the werewolf-zombie was leaping for Dean, and the car was in the line of fire.

            So, see? It’s totally not Sam’s fault.

 

I didn’t mean to! I was aiming for the fucking monster that was trying to eat you!

And you hit the fucking monster, but you also shot the Impala!

Would you rather be dead?!

You shot my car!

Dude! Would you rather be dead?

My Impala!

 

            And god, but Dean can go on and on and on… and Sam is patient, he really is, but Dean won’t shut up about the stupid CAR getting fucking SHOT and he forgets that a ZOMBIE-WEREWOLF was trying to EAT HIM.

            Not that Sam is any better, he’ll admit.

            Maybe he got a little rush, shooting the Impala. A little. Teeny. Tiny. The smallest amount possible. Honest.

            But if he could have avoided the car, he would’ve. Because the car is Dean and Dean is the car, and does his brother have issues or what?

 

Dean.

Samuel.

I’m sorry I shot the Impala.

And?

I’ll never, ever do it again. I’ll let the monster eat you next time.

Damned right, you will.

           

Comments

[iamstealthyone.livejournal.com]

Fun read! Oh, Sam, you silly boy. Of course Dean will freak out over you shooting the car, no matter why you did it. Because he’s Dean, and the car’s his baby.

Favorite lines:

He loves the car. Not as much as Dean does, of course, because Dean is a freak with possessive tendencies and once he decides something is his, he refuses to let go with the tenacity of a… a… well, Sam can’t think of an apt comparison, but that thing he can’t think of, Dean is totally like it.

LOL! I love Sam flailing for the right word.

It was shoot the fucking werewolf or let it EAT YOU!
But you didn’t shoot the fucking werewolf, Sam! You fucking shot my car!

*snickers* Details, details.

He fucking shot Dean, and damned if he still doesn’t get nightmares where the gun was loaded.

Oh, Sam. (Look at you sneaking some angst in here. *g*)

You shot my car!
Dude! Would you rather be dead?
My Impala!

LOL! I love Dean’s tunnel vision on this subject.

[tigriswolf]

Thank you! I really _really_ did try to keep this just a fun piece, but I don't seem to have that in me.

[iamstealthyone.livejournal.com]

It was almost all fun, though, and the bit of angst was a good touch. :)

[amphetamine-47.livejournal.com]

Dean’s been a hovering mother hen somehow bred with an attack-dog.

This bit made me giggle 1st for logistics, and then because it's SO TRUE!

There was a freaking zombie-werewolf-thing, Dean!
And?
Zombie-werewolf, Dean! A werewolf that’s also a zombie!

And this bit made me spit my water at the computer screen, beause...zombie-werewolf! LOLZ!

[tigriswolf]

Thank you! Making people laugh is fun.

[smilla02.livejournal.com]

A Zombie-werewolf? Huh? I wonder what they look like :)
And, yeah, that ‘or dead’ is necessary, considering what they’ve seen and what they do.
*snickers*. So lovely!

[tigriswolf]

Thank you! I tried being funny and got... slightly angsty, too. But, overall, I'm pleased.

[mneiai.livejournal.com]

::laugh:: AWWW. That was adorable and chuckle-worthy.

[tigriswolf]

Thank you for reading!

[lark_ascends]

Hilarious and perfect. So, so Dean.

[tigriswolf]

Thank you!

[fredsmith518.livejournal.com]

enjoyed reading this, liked the format also
thank you

[tigriswolf]

Thank _you_ for reading!

[skyebanshee.livejournal.com]

Oh I loved the narration, and the embedded conversation and Dean's total "OMGWTF" attitude.

I’m sorry I shot the Impala.
And?
I’ll never, ever do it again. I’ll let the monster eat you next time.
Damned right, you will.

Hee. I'm still giggling at that, and seeing as how I'm in the library, it's probably not the best idea, but still. Hee ^_^.

[tigriswolf]

Thank you!

[thrance-86.livejournal.com]

Dude! Would you rather be dead?
My Impala!

*snorts* Those two lines crack me up whenever I read them.

[tigriswolf]

Thank you for reading!

ha!

[(Anonymous)]

ha! that was hysterical! ok, so i was wrong, you can write humor. but, i was also right, oyu threw some angst in there as well.

Dean.
Samuel.
I’m sorry I shot the Impala.
And?
I’ll never, ever do it again. I’ll let the monster eat you next time.
Damned right, you will.

_insert hysterical laughter_

Re: ha!

[tigriswolf]

Thank you, lovie. I tried going the whole humor angle, but, alas, some pretty angst snuck in, too.

[gottalovev.livejournal.com]

heee! that made me laugh, loved it! =D

[tigriswolf]

Thank you for reading! I'm glad you enjoyed it.