Between Dusk and Dawn - SN fic - PG13
Jan. 14th, 2007 08:09 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
tigriswolfTitle: Between Dusk and Dawn
Fandom: “Supernatural”
Disclaimer: not my characters. Just for fun.
Warnings: AU for “Hunted”
Pairings: nada
Rating: PG13
Wordcount: 1130
Point of view: third
Point of view: third
Gordon Walker killed Sam a little before dusk, on a day like any other—Gordon Walker killed Sam by cheating, changing the rules. Gordon Walker killed Sam, and Dean died with him.
Dean died with him.
-
Gordon Walker killed Sam but left Dean alive. Gordon Walker, rifle in hand, carefully walked through the decrepit house, listening for any evidence that Sam actually hadn’t died.
But Dean knew. Dean knew with his heart and his body and his soul that Sam no longer breathed. Sam wasn’t anymore.
Sam died. And Dean died with him, except that Dean’s heart still pumped blood and Dean’s lungs still breathed and Dean’s chest shuddered with sobs and Dean’s hands trembled and Dean’s eyes blinked—
Gordon Walker came back into the room and paused by Dean, said, “I really am sorry.”
Gordon Walker killed Sam. Killed Sammy. Killed—
And Gordon Walker made the mistake of leaving Dean alive.
-
Dean stayed in that house for almost a week, sitting in that chair. One good turn deserves another, so Gordon left Dean as he himself had been left.
Gordon had a headstart. Gordon knew Dean would be after him. Gordon had connections and places to go to ground.
And Dean sat in that house for six days, not eating and not drinking, not doing anything but breathing, remembering, begging forgiveness—and swearing revenge.
Gordon Walker left Dean alive.
-
And on the seventh day, Dean unravelled the knots and stood, softly walked through the decrepit house, and knelt in the remnants of the room that Sammy died in.
Dean’s heart beat, Dean’s chest shuddered, Dean’s hands trembled, and Dean’s eyes wept.
But Dean died with Sam.
-
Gordon drank with his old friend Carl, a hunter who understood his methods and reasoning, who assured Gordon that no one could find them.
Gordon laughed with Carl, shared hunting stories, discussed plans for the future, how to find the rest of the psychic filth that would betray humanity and fight for Hell.
He even told Carl about the Winchester boys, how they’d shamed their father. Carl nodded, made noises of agreement, and died silently when a bullet went into his right eye and out the back of his skull.
-
Gordon Walker cheated, but Dean didn’t. After he kicked in the door, he stared at Gordon and tossed aside his gun. Reached into his boot and pulled out the knife, flicked it to the ground. And kept staring at Gordon, who rose to his feet, looked down at Carl.
“Why didn’t you kill me?” Dean asked, the words quiet, his voice shattered.
“Because I’m not a killer,” Gordon answered.
And Dean laughed.
He lunged for Gordon and he kept on laughing.
-
Gordon Walker killed Sam a little before dusk.
Dean killed Gordon Walker at sunset.
Gordon Walker killed Sam quickly.
Dean killed Gordon Walker slow and made it hurt.
There wasn’t much left of Sam, after.
Dean left Gordon Walker in pieces all around Carl’s bunker.
Gordon Walker killed Sam and it was the second-worst mistake of his life.
His greatest mistake was leaving Dean alive.
But Dean died with Sam.
-
Dean’s hands tremble and Dean’s heart beats and Dean’s lungs breathe—Dean stares up into the sky, the sun bathing his face with warmth, but he still shivers on the inside.
He still shivers on the inside.
Sammy is dead. Dad is dead. The hunt looms ahead of him, something that will never be over. Just like he told Sam, all those months ago.
He stares up into the sky.
Sam is gone. Sam is dead. Gordon Walker killed him.
Gordon Walker killed him.
Dad died, and Sam, and Mom—he’s alone. He didn’t have the chance to save Sam, to keep that demon from claiming him, so the last order Dad ever gave, he failed. Couldn’t do it. And he can’t even explain, because Dad is dead, Dad left him behind again, but this time forever.
The sky stretches away, into infinity, and Dean has nowhere to go.
-
So Dean went back to the decrepit house. And he sank onto the floor that Sam decorated with his blood and tissue, and he just lay there. Closed his eyes and imagined Sam, imagined Dad, imagined the world as it was, before.
Before.
His hands trembled and his eyes wept and his chest shuddered. Painted on his eyelids were Dad and Mom and Sam, the life that should have been.
-
He spent six days on the floor, six days begging forgiveness, six days shuddering and trembling, six days of just breathing and remembering.
For a few moments, as the sun rose on the seventh, he fancied that he felt Sam’s hand on his shoulder, Sam’s breath across his face, heard Sam’s voice in his ear C’mon, Dean, but then he opened his eyes and realized—
Realized Gordon Walker killed Sammy, and Dean’s hands tremble because he keeps replaying those last few seconds he ever had with his brother, silence and hurt, and if he had just been better, if he’d tried harder, if he’d been quicker, smarter, more prepared, ready for everything the world had to throw at them, he would have succeeded and Sam wouldn’t have died just before dusk, Sam would have lived years and years and still grown older, Sam could have escaped the hunt, became something more.
C’mon, Dean
But Sam died and Dean lived, and he lay on the floor for six days after killing Gordon Walker, breathing and begging and remembering, and when Sam first touches his forehead, Dean doesn’t recognize it for what it is.
C’mon, dude. Stop this.
Sam died and Dean lived, and Dean’s lost in pain and rage and self-loathing, drowning in despair, and he doesn’t know the feel of absolution on his skin.
It’s time, Dean, it’s over.
Gordon Walker killed Sam weeks ago and Dean still clings to shredded hopes that he’s insane, made the whole thing up, that Sammy never died.
Dean.
Dean’s eyes are closed and he’s replaying those last few seconds over and over, looking for anything he could have done differently, anything he could have changed and fixed everything, saved Sam.
Gordon Walker killed Sam, but he left Dean alive, and Dean still doesn’t know why.
Dean, damnit, listen to me!
So he stares up at the ceiling, gun in hand, and wonders why the hell he’s still alive, why he hasn’t blown his brains all over the wall yet.
There is no reason.
Dean, you stubborn bastard.
Reason died with Mom, with Dad, died with Sam.
-
Gordon Walker killed Sam just before dusk.
It’s just after dawn when Dean pulls the trigger, but honestly, he’d been dead months before.
-
Dean, you stubborn, proud, arrogant ass—
Sammy?
‘bout time, Dean.
Sammy…
C’mon, man. It’s time to go home.
![[identity profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/openid.png){kind=small}
(no subject)
Date: 2007-01-15 02:40 am (UTC)Noooooooooooooooooooo ...
I shall comfort myself with the thought that at least, in death, they're together.
(no subject)
Date: 2007-01-15 02:50 am (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2007-01-15 02:53 am (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2007-01-15 03:05 am (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2007-01-15 02:58 am (UTC)I may have wept a
lotwee bit.(no subject)
Date: 2007-01-15 03:05 am (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2007-01-15 05:04 pm (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2007-01-15 06:00 pm (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2007-01-16 01:20 am (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2007-01-16 02:42 am (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2007-01-19 08:22 am (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2007-01-19 12:58 pm (UTC)Thank you for reading!
(no subject)
Date: 2007-01-19 04:30 pm (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2007-01-19 05:18 pm (UTC)*is lying*
(no subject)
Date: 2007-01-19 07:53 pm (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2007-01-19 10:21 pm (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2007-01-20 07:42 am (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2007-01-21 09:51 pm (UTC)Seriously, you're writing just so kills me with how amazing it is, that I can't think of anything to write.
Just, wow.
(no subject)
Date: 2007-01-21 10:21 pm (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2007-02-14 08:37 pm (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2007-02-15 01:16 pm (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2007-03-05 10:23 pm (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2007-03-05 10:36 pm (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2007-03-19 01:55 am (UTC)Jenna
(no subject)
Date: 2007-03-19 02:25 am (UTC)