you came to know me well - SN fic - PG

[tigriswolf]

Title: you came to know me well

Fandom: “Supernatural”

Disclaimer: not my characters just for fun. Title and lyrics from Cyndi Thomson’s “I Always Liked That Best”

Warnings: none, really. 

Pairings: light Dean/Sam wincest

Rating: PG

Wordcount: 370
Point of view: second

Notes: So ‘rightest’ isn’t a word. What of it?

 

I like the way you came to know me
Ya came to know me well, well, well
I could go on
So many things I miss now that you're gone
Your love, oh yes
I always liked that best

 

 

One day, you’ll turn around and he’ll be gone. And it’ll be right. It’ll be the rightest thing since November and flames.

 

He won’t say goodbye, but that’s right, too. He’ll never call, but you’ll send him postcards, now and again. Letting him know you’re alive.

 

He’s said he won’t leave again, promised, assured you there’s nothing left for him away from you. You just nodded and tried smiling, just reached out to grasp his shoulder and stayed silent.

 

You’ll let him keep the lie. But you know. This isn’t his life, no matter what he says. This isn’t his life and never has been. 

 

Oh, he’s good at pretending—he should be, since you taught him. He’s good. But you’re better. 

 

This is his war, he says. So he can’t leave. Even after Jessica’s killer, Mom’s murderer, Dad’s demon—after the bastard is dead and gone, Sammy swears, he’ll stay. 

 

And you just smile, because you know the lie for a lie.

 

One day, you know, you’ll turn around and he’ll be gone. He’ll leave a note, stained with teardrops, and he’ll take a couple of weapons. He’ll call once, maybe twice, to let you know where he’s headed, where he ended up. And that’ll be that.

 

Twice, his life was interrupted in November. And slipping back into it will be as easy as breathing. 

 

He promises, with words and touches, with feathersoft kisses, that he’ll stay with you forever. That he’s been yours since the beginning. And you never tell him that you’ve held him in waiting, that he’s always been meant for more than you’ll ever have to give.

 

And one day, you don’t tell him, he’ll be gone. He won’t say goodbye, and neither will you, and you’ll send postcards, dial his number, you’ll swing by to watch his wife and kids, and you’ll wonder if he regrets what he left behind—

 

But you’ll never ask. You’ll never approach him after he leaves.

 

You did once before and only pain came of it. Only death, blood—fire. 

 

And he swears he’ll never leave you. Never again. You just smile and move towards the next hunt, content to keep him while you can.

 

Comments

[lunardreamed.livejournal.com]

You have absolutely no idea how talented you are at breaking my heart.

[tigriswolf]

Oh, thank you!

[percysowner.livejournal.com]

Ouch, such a painful Dean POV. He is so afraid he'll be abandoned. I don't think Sam will leave now, there is just no life for him to go back to. He had his chance when he went to Stanford and now it's over, Dean and hunting are all he has. Beautiful piece.

[tigriswolf]

Thank you for reading!

[photo-confused.livejournal.com]

oh god, ow my heart.
that was one hell of a painful dean pov,
beautiful and broken and just, wow.

[tigriswolf]

Thank you so much!

[misskatieleigh.livejournal.com]

*crushed*

[tigriswolf]

I'm sorry!

Thank you for reading!

[zenamydog.livejournal.com]

OMG so heart rending, so real!

[tigriswolf]

Thank you!

[voicelesssong.livejournal.com]

absolutely beautiful and so sad... they're masters at breaking each other's heart, aren't they?

[tigriswolf]

Yes, they are. *sigh*

Thank you for reading!

[missmonkeydust.livejournal.com]

This is heartbreakingly good! Dean would never be able to deal with Sam leaving him properly and you've really got that across so well.

[tigriswolf]

Thank you for reading!

[tru-faith-lost.livejournal.com]

You big dumb meanie. Love is forever dammit, and I won't have it no other way. How could Sam find more than Dean has to give, Dean has so much more to give than anyone? Sniff. You hurt my widdle heawt.

And so what if rightest isn't a word? The other day I wrote "more raw" and my Microsoft Word said it should be "rawer" I said hell no! Who the hell says rawer? Real words are stupid. Words that make sense win out anyday.

Tracy

[tigriswolf]

Hey, I'm not a meanie! *pouts* Unless you mean Sam, in which case--yeah, _he_ is.

Real words are stupid.

Thank you for reading!

[realpestilence.livejournal.com]

I'd be interested in what Sam feels...is he guilty, knowing he'll leave some day, or frantic because he can't convince Dean he made a genuine choice? This was painful to read, and sort of dream-like in its prose. Very good.

[tigriswolf]

Thank you!

[icycider.livejournal.com]

This is very much how I imagine Dean would be like. Quietly introspective, knowing more than he lets on, keeping all inside for Sam's sake. Wonderful work! (I'm so lazy, I rarely comment, but I couldn't not for this.)

[tigriswolf]

Oh, thank you so much!

[http://users.livejournal.com/_la_mysterieuse/]

Ouch. But the good ouch y'know?

He promises, with words and touches, with feathersoft kisses, that he’ll stay with you forever. That he’s been yours since the beginning. And you never tell him that you’ve held him in waiting, that he’s always been meant for more than you’ll ever have to give.
Lovely.

[tigriswolf]

Thank you!

[mgbutterfly.livejournal.com]

oh, Dean.
I just want to hold him close and tell him everything will be okay...
This was beautiful and broken and close and just so wow.

[tigriswolf]

Thank you so much!

[dea-liberty.livejournal.com]

This was lovely. So painful and bleak and so Dean.

Even if, in my mind, Sammy'll never leave him!

[tigriswolf]

Thank you for reading!

Oh, I agree: Sam can't ever leave Dean again. They just aren't right apart.

[dea-liberty.livejournal.com]

I've left feedback for this already but just heading back over here to let you know that you've been recced at crack_impala here (http://community.livejournal.com/crack_impala/5331.html) :)

[tigriswolf]

Thank you so much!

[tempestquill.livejournal.com]

This was very poignant to be so short and just wow, all the emotions you've managed to expose and explore. You are just amazing.

[tigriswolf]

Oh, *blushes*

Thank you so much!