for acidquill

[tigriswolf]

Title: We’ve come back from always

Fandom: Star Trek reboot

Disclaimer: not my characters; title from Helene Cixous

Warnings: somewhat angsty; character death

Pairings: Jim/Bones

Rating: PG

Wordcount: 390

Point of view: third

Notes: foracidquill’s birthday, to her prompt angsty hurt/comfort Jim/Bones

i

“Captain Kirk,” the Teleneison king says. “It’s so good to have you.” He smirks, meeting Jim’s glare. “Give us the codes and we’ll release you.”

Jim scoffs. “Fuck off and die.”

The king shrugs and nods to his integration staff. “As long as he doesn’t die, do with him what you will.”

o0o

Bones placed a hand on Jim’s cheek when his breathing changed, becoming shallow and quick. “Jim,” he said. “Jim.”

Jim’s eyes shot open and he lunged up, grabbing onto Bones, burying his face in Bones’ neck.

“Hey, Jim,” Bones murmured, bringing his arms up and around Jim. “It’s alright. You’re on the Enterprise, out in space. You’re safe.”

“Fuckin’ hate this, Bones,” Jim muttered into his skin. “Hate this so much.”

“I know,” Bones says. “But you’re gettin’ better.”

Jim chuckled and pulled back, ducking his head, avoiding Bones’ gaze. “They all think I’m broken, don’t they?” he asks. “I haven’t—”

He hadn’t reclaimed command of his ship. Spock was still Acting Captain, a month since they saved Jim from the Teleneison prison. A month and he still woke up shaking, holding in screams.

Bones just placed a hand on Jim’s chest, over his heart, and said, “Give it time, Jim. Everyone’s waiting for you.” He pressed a kiss to Jim’s forehead. “You’re doin’ better and soon you’ll be good as new.”

Jim smiled up at him, a fragile grin completely unlike that cocky smirk Bones remembered so well. “I believe you,” Jim said quietly.

He would get better. He’d become James T. Kirk again, take the universe by storm. Bones wouldn’t let anything else happen.

o0o

“How’s the captain?” Sulu asks, stepping up behind Uhura.

She shakes her head. “Still in his mind. I don’t think…” She glances at him, biting her lip. “He’s not going to get better.”

“What about Spock?” Sulu suggests. “A… what is it? Mind-meld.”

She says, “He’s already tried. Wherever Jim buried himself, Spock can’t find him.”

o0o

“Bones,” Jim murmured.

“I’m here,” he replied, settling beside Jim. “You’re safe.” He ignored the outside chatter, focused entirely on Jim. “You’re safe, my captain.”

o0o

The rescue team arrives too late. Jim’s nearly dead, and Bones has already gone.

Jim never wakes up to reclaim his ship. He dies in his dreams, Bones by his side, captain of the greatest ship man ever made.

i

And the other fic I wrote for you.

Title: history written by the blade

Fandom: Star Trek reboot/Pathfinder

Disclaimer: not my characters

Warnings: spoilers for both films

Pairings: none stated—implied Jim/Bones

Rating: PG

Wordcount: 540

Point of view: third

Notes: foracidquill’s birthday, to her prompt of angsty hurt/comfort Jim/Bones

He's dreaming of bloody snow again.

Jim's still unconscious from the last rescue mission, Spock's Acting Captain, Sulu and Chekov are navigating their way home, Uhura's in the bed next to Jim's, and Scotty is wrangling another miracle from the ship.

And Bones is dreaming of bloody snow, of Vikings and villages of natives, of screaming and pain and hate and a sword that calls to him, that he wields like it’s a part of him. Bones is dreaming of being a killer because that's what he was planetside.

That's what he became for Jim.

Bones doesn’t believe in reincarnation. One life, that’s all you get, so you’d better damn well do your best. He doesn’t believe he’s lived before or that he’ll live again, but the dreams are so vivid—he can smell the blood and taste the death, feel the snow beneath him and the cold hilt in his hand, can see the mountains and the bodies, and hear the screams of men he’s fatally wounded, the cries of that woman he loves.

Jim’s alive because he acted. Because he took up the sword. Because he saw Jim go down and there was a sword on the table, left there by their ‘hosts,’ and he grabbed it, used it even though he’d never thought about it before.

He’s not Sulu. He doesn’t know how to use a sword. He can barely hit the broad-side of a barn with a phaser. He’s a doctor, damnit, not a warrior.

He’s dreaming of bloody snow, one hand resting on Jim’s chest, his palm above Jim’s heart. He’s dreaming of turning back an invasion, of killing dozens of men because they attacked him, because they massacred his village. He’s dreaming of gentle hands that comforted him and a white horse that led the way.

Jim’s chest hitches and Bones wakes, eyes instantly at Jim’s face. Jim’s waking himself, looking none the worse for the wear. A quick scan shows the same. Jim’ll be fine, the stupid kid; his never-ending self-sacrificial streak didn’t kill him this time.

This time. But what about the next? Bones knows for a fact there’ll be a next time.

“Bones,” Jim murmurs, eyes slitted against the bright sickbay lights. “Did we git’em?”

“Yes,” Bones tells him. “You’ll be fine, Jim, and so will Uhura.”

Jim tries to move, but Bones shakes his head. “You’re stayin’ right there till I’ve cleared you.”

“I gotta check on the crew, Bones,” Jim argues. “How’s everyone else?”

“We’re the only ones who made it back,” Bones tells him. “You were the worst hurt—Uhura got cracked on the head when she tried to save you.”

Jim blinks at him. Bones silently berates himself; he should have saved that news for later. “Go back to sleep, Jim,” he orders. “I’ll explain everything when you wake up again.”

He knows that Jim’ll fight sleep till he’s blue in the face, so he sedates him. Jim can ream him out later. At least there’s a later this time.

“You should follow your own advice,” Christine tells him, but Bones ignores her.

He doesn’t want to dream about bloody snow, or the woman who nearly died there, the woman who reminds him so much of Jim.

Comments

You are too good to me

[acidquill.livejournal.com]

Oh. honey. Damn.

*twirls you*

Re: You are too good to me

[tigriswolf]

*is happily twirled*

[siluria]

Oooooh - is that an essence of Pathfinder in the second one??? Because that was really well crossed over! :)

[tigriswolf]

Yup yup!

[(Anonymous)]

I dont get it.

[tigriswolf]

Don't get what?

[ceilingninja (from livejournal.com)]

The first one made me tear up! At least in his mind, Jim was with Bones at the end.

Haven't read the second. Do you need to have prior knowledge of Pathfinder to read it?

[tigriswolf]

Hmm. I don't think so. It might make a smidge more sense, but it's really more of an allusion to Pathfinder than an actual crossover.

Also, thank you for reading the first one!

[gentlest-sin.livejournal.com]

re: "We've come back from always."
Very interesting, well-written and heart wrenching. However it's def. not PG (f-word) and "somewhat angsty" is not an appropriate warning. Try "character death."

[tigriswolf]

Thank you for reading!

I did consider warning for character death, but wouldn't that spoil the ending?

[gentlest-sin.livejournal.com]

Not if you didn't say whose. And you risk spoiling yourself in the eyes of your readers. Think of your biggest squick (golden shower? het? bloodplay?) and imagine that you read a fic that featured that prominently without warning for it. You would feel, and rightly so, angry at the author in addition to being grossed out/offended. Some people don't like to read about their favourite characters getting pissed on, and some people don't like to read about them dying.

[(Anonymous)]

Loved the second one. Didn't read the first one, but saw the comment about the warning and am glad I didn't, because that really is not where my head is at this morning. I have read a few others of yours this morning [sick home from work] and I really look forward to reading more. Just wanted to agree on the fact you should note that the first drabble includes character death. Unlike in 'regular fiction' there is an expectation in fan fiction that the writer will let the reader choose whether or not they want read a story based on certain things they may or may not want to read, which may or may not - it is true - change at any given time depending on the reader's mood. It is also a matter of trust. I once read a 56 chapter story in HP in which the author waited until chapter 55 to let us know that major character death was coming and if we didn't want to read that we shouldn't finish the story. However, this wasn't the kind of story where the end of 55 could be considered the end of the story which I really enjoyed and wanted to see how multiple storylines were resolved. So, I chose to read the last chapter but I have never read anything by that author again, because there is no way I could trust her not to do it again. I did leave a comment informing her of my enjoyment of her writing and that particular story but also my feelings about her choice ont to post this warning from the beginning and the fact I was sorry because I thought she was a great writer, but I don't know if she ever replied because that was the last time I went ot her site. Granted your story is nowhere near that long but the issue is the same. I see your point about spoiling the ending, but I also agree that you don't need to say who dies or how.

[tigriswolf]

I see your point.

Thank you for reading!

[(Anonymous)]

You're welcome. Came back by a roundabout way and read the ST/Pathfinder story. Glad I came back. CLC

[(Anonymous)]

...read again...

[tigriswolf]

Thanks for letting me know.