screaming loud enough to turn back the wind

Well, that instant between 11:59 and midnight has come and gone; I am, therefore, 26. Holy shit.

I wanted a purple birthday cake and tigremere delivered:




So yummy.

Title: we dance the best we know
Fandom: Teen Wolf (TV)
Disclaimer: not my characters; title from Kate Seredy
Warnings: Goes AU during Letharia Vulpina, and AUish for everything that came before.
Pairings: none
Rating: PG
Wordcount: 1960
Point of view: third



(  Deaton lands next to Kira on the floor. )

So there I am sitting in Coffee Call with tigremere, thinking about what’s going on in Kansas when I say, “You know what’s funny? If Jesus were to suddenly appear, it wouldn’t be the Conservatives he’d hang out with.”

tigremere replies, “Throw the moneychangers out of the Temple. He’d call them all prigs and go hang out at the AIDS clinic.”

Then I explain to her what’s going on in Kansas, since she avoids the news as much as I do (and I only know about it because of tumblr) and she snorts, saying, “That’s Christian.”

Which reminded me about the policy at my old high-school: pregnant girls were kicked out, end of story. So I ask, “Hey, how old was Mary when she had Jesus?”

And tigremere says, “Wasn’t she a teenager?”

Mary, Mother of God, would’ve been kicked out of pretty much all of the ‘Christian’ schools, right?

Gotta love the good ole USA.

(ETA: yay!

Title: from her husband’s hand her hand soft she withdrew
Fandom: Avengers movieverse
Disclaimer: not my characters; title from Milton
Warnings: spoilers for Thor 2
Pairings: Odin/Frigga
Rating: PG
Wordcount: 345
Point of view: third
Prompt: Any, any, she has waited so long for revenge


( Is it all you wanted, All-Father? )




Title: the longest game
Fandom: Highlander
Disclaimer: not my characters; one line from Tolkien
Warnings: Methos being old
Pairings: none
Rating: PG
Wordcount: 115
Point of view: third
Prompt: Highlander, Methos, the long game

(  There are many things Kronos, Silas, and Caspian never understood, and that was their downfall. )





Title: if the worst should happen
Fandom: The Hobbit (Jackson films)
Disclaimer: not my characters
Warnings: spoilers for the book/third movie
Pairings: none
Rating: PG
Wordcount: 160
Point of view: third
Prompt: Any +/any, they say you can never really go home again...



(  Neither of them has ever seen Erebor at its full glory, from the top of the mountain to the deepest mine. )




Title: the power the dark lord knows not (is not love)
Fandom: Harry Potter
Disclaimer: not my characters
Warnings: AU
Pairings: none
Rating: PG
Wordcount: 335
Point of view: third
Prompt: Harry Potter, Harry, Dumbledore's plan failed; when Harry arrived at Hogwarts he was not the polite and friendly little boy that everyone expected him to be.


(  Harry Potter is a good boy, thank you very much. )




Title: we forgive all those who cannot forget us
Fandom: The Hobbit (Jackson films)
Disclaimer: not my characters; title from Carolyn Kizer
Warnings: character death; violence; spoilers for the book/third movie
Pairings: none
Rating: PG
Wordcount: 90
Point of view: third
Prompt: Any, any, I thought that we'd start over/But I guess I was wrong

(Talking Heads, Nothing But Flowers)



( He stretches for his brother’s hand.  )

So, I read somewhere on tumblr that the weather is acting drunk - we're having our second snow day in two weeks, and might have a third tomorrow. Yes, the weather has imbibed too much. A lot of roads are closed because people down here have no idea how to drive when the temperature won't rise above freezing all day, and the sky keeps dropping water on us. *sigh*

I spoke to my advisor yesterday. She read over what I have for my presentation for the conference (two weeks away! holy shit!) and said it looked fantastic. That was such a relief to hear. Like, holy shit. I thought it was awful. We really are our own worst critics, aren't we? The whole conference is informal; it's just for graduate students to get their feet wet, basically. Everyone who's presenting are babies. (Including me.) (Definitely me.)

The main problem is that, at the end of last semester, I read two of my poems aloud for part of my final project in one of my classes. I read two of my poems aloud in front of my class. I had never done that before. I'd never read my poetry aloud to anyone. Yes, I've had my little sister and mom read my poetry; of course I have. But I'd never read it to them.

I felt terrified the whole time I was up there. I pretty much got over my public speaking thing in middle school; sometimes, I would have to stop to laugh at the beginning of my presentations, but I didn't fear them. But I spent most of December and January in a sort of bone-deep dread at the thought of this conference, which I only submitted to because my advisor told me that I should. I didn’t expect them to actually accept my proposal, but since this is a conference for baby grad students, they probably accept every proposal, you know?

I’m not reading my poetry this time, of course. I’ll be talking about what I plan to do for my thesis, and I am excited about that. I lost my give-a-damn sometime at the beginning of December; the break between semesters was so short, and I didn’t get any of my planned work done because I just didn’t give a shit, at all. But I think I’m starting to care again.

It’s just… sometimes, I’m glad to be an adult. I’m in grad school. I’m editing reports that affect things. I’m living in my own apartment and paying my own bills. I turn 26 in a month. (Like, actually a month since I don’t have a birthday this year.) I spent all of last summer working 45 hours a week, and this upcoming summer, I’m going to interview old people about their lives and history with reading.

But also, a large part of the time, I want to crawl back to kindergarten. I lay awake at night wondering what the fuck I’m doing in grad school, what the fuck I’m going to do after it, what the fuck I’m doing at all. Is all of adulthood like that? How does anyone ever get anything done?

When she was my age, my mom already had me. And the career she’s been working at her entire life. I really should stop comparing myself her (which I’ve been doing since I was 18). I always come up short. *sigh*

I guess… I think I’m mostly happy. Sometimes, I want to run away, or just curl up on my bed and not move, or get into some sort of horrible accident so that I don’t have to make any decisions for myself – but mostly, I wake up in the mornings happy. So that’s good.

Anyway. This post started out in a good place, and then I seemed to meander somewhere not so good. Oops. So, here, have a poem:

Roses are red.
Violets are purple
(which is the best color, you know)
The weather outside is fucked up, dude.
How are you?

*sporfle*


ETA: yes, tomorrow will also be a snow day.

And I've realized that I've been functioning at a low-level stage of misery since last summer because my head always hurts.

[Poll #1953154]

Words cannot properly convey the ridiculousness of waking up this morning, checking the temperature, and it being NINETEEN degrees outside. 19F. This was noon:

This was 5pm:


Utter ridiculousness. How do you cold-weather people do it?

Title: my fingers burning with thorns
Fandom: Supernatural
Disclaimer: not my characters; title from Komunyakaa
Warnings: AUish? Preseries; creepy
Pairings: none
Rating: PG
Wordcount: 320
Point of view: third
Prompt: SPN, Dean/Author's choice, Devil May Cry


( Hey, Dean, Mama says. )




Title: stars that shoot along the sky shine brightest as they fall from high
Fandom: Avengers movieverse
Disclaimer: not my characters; title from Lord Byron
Warnings: spoilers for Avengers movie; Odin’s A+ parenting; written prior to Thor 2
Pairings: none
Rating: PG
Wordcount: 545
Point of view: third
Prompt: MCU, Thor + Loki,

And like a blind hammer
That destroys what it can't see
Tear down the walls of progress
And spit on our ancestry

( He looks at Thor and he sees a golden future - and when he looks at himself, he sees nothing at all. )



Title: The Revolution Will Not Be Televised
Fandom: Inception/Hunger Games
Disclaimer: not my characters
Warnings: AU; character death; mentions of violence
Pairings: Arthur/Eames
Rating: PG13
Wordcount: 980
Point of view: third
Prompt: Author's choice, author's choice, Freedom's just another word for nothing left to lose


( The other tribute from District 8 was a little girl named Rosalie. )


Title: lips as red
Fandom: fairy tales (Sleeping Beauty/Snow White)
Disclaimer: mostly my characters? They’re open domain now, right?
Warnings: modern-day AU
Pairings: Sleeping Beauty/Snow White
Rating: PG
Wordcount: 875
Point of view: third
Prompt: any, any,

I remember the face but I can't recall the name
Now I wonder how whatshername has been.

(Green Day, Whatshername)

( It’s just like magic. )



Title: she’ll dye her dress, she’ll dye it red
Disclaimer: not my characters; title from a folk song
Warnings: AU; mentions of death/destruction
Pairings: Methos/Kronos
Rating: PG
Wordcount: 710
Point of view: third
Prompt: Highlander, always female Methos, the oldest Immortal


(  She never tells the truth of her age.  )

I've been posting a WIP on A03:

Title: be brave
Fandom: Harry Potter
Disclaimer: if you recognize them, they're not my characters.
Warnings: AU; minor character death; mentions of violence
Pairings: none
Rating: PG
Wordcount: WIP
Point of view: third
Prompt: Harry Potter, Draco Malfoy + Any, History is written by the ones with the Time-Turners.

We prove who we are in times of adversity, someone said once. Draco cannot remember who, or when, or why. But these are the most adverse times of his life, and this is not a world he can stand to live in. No longer. What is the point of being victorious if all that’s left is an ocean of blood?

What are the things you'd most like to see in a someone travels back in time to raise Harry Potter better than the Dursleys fic?

Please and thank you.