screaming loud enough to turn back the wind

I’m going through the MCU fics I wrote so I can add the AU ones to my AU series tag, and it’s reminding me how I dropped out of the fandom in-between GotG and AoU. Now I’m wondering: is it the writer in me or the cynic that refuses to accept things that are counter to my interpretation because they make no sense, both in and out of canon? I’m very disappointed in what I’ve heard/read about the movies after GotG (some on tumblr, some on LJ, some from my lilsis who has seen them all), and angry about a bit of it. Lilsis thinks they’re entertaining movies, but she also doesn’t connect to characters or pull apart stories because she’s not a writer. She can just accept it at face value (unless it’s shitty humor stuff that degrades people) and move on with her life.

But I’m going through my fics, and it’s putting me back in that cynical, angry mindset of why I left the fandom in the first place. So maybe the cynic is the one who understands why certain characters/storylines aren’t treated with the respect they deserve, and the writer who is offended at the lazy writing, and the fan who is still pissed about it?

So I'm the kind of person who asks, "What is the saddest possible pov to use for this story?" and then write it.

And, "Is it possible to make this sad idea sadder?" Yes, yes it is.

But, I suppose, at least I don't write dark/creepy as much anymore. Just fluff and angst, now.

So my cousin texted to ask if I was home, and when I replied that I’m at work, he texted back, “Don’t want to alarm you, but there may be an apt fire in your complex.”

So of course I called the office and the lady said that the fire isn’t us (and she’d also just sent out an email).

So I google ‘apt fires on [Street]’ and holy shit, across the interstate from us, there’s a major fire happening. My officemate’s sister sent video because she works down the street, and someone else she knows lives in the neighborhood behind the apts, so she sent video, too. It’s a bad fucking fire, and the people whose homes are being destroyed, where are they going to go? Everywhere is full.

Title: Hold On to the Feeling and Don't Let It Go
Fandom: 1D RPF/The Walking Dead (TV)
Disclaimer: title from “Up All Night”; most of the characters mentioned are not mine because they are in fact real people who belong to themselves
Warnings: references to violence/death, minor original character death, references to non-con, grief, PTSD
Pairings: Louis Tomlinson/Harry Styles
Rating: PG13
Wordcount: 9000 at the moment, but I might write more

Thanks to classics_lover, who betaed and britpicked the first part.




Part 1: A routine day during the zombie apocalypse.

Part 2: A slightly exciting day during the zombie apocalypse.

Title: (the folly of) youth
Fandom: Merlin (BBC)/Doctor Who
Disclaimer: Merlin, Arthur, and 10 aren’t mine
Warnings: post-series for Merlin; at some point after Donna for Doctor Who
Pairings: none
Rating: PG
Wordcount: 2230
Point of view: third

Note: I lean toward the Doctor being Ten, but that's up to you.

Another note: this ended up so much sadder than I thought it would.



There are fixed points in time, around which all else turns. The death of King Arthur is one of them.

Title: I wrote you a song with the words you spoke
Fandom: One Direction RPF/Stargate Atlantis
Disclaimer: the fictional characters aren’t mine and all the real people belong to themselves; title from “Where Do Broken Hearts Go?”
Warnings: future!fic for SGA; AU for One Direction (obviously); references to genocide, the wraith eating people, and Louis’ entire family dying
Pairings: Harry Styles/Louis Tomlinson
Rating: PG/13
Wordcount: 430
Point of view: third
Prompt: Any, any/any, do you remember the day we fell in love?

Follows this, where Louis is a runner in the Pegasus galaxy and Harry’s an Earthborn scientist in Atlantis.

( music across the water )




Title: so many words we’re not sayin’
Fandom: One Direction RPF
Disclaimer: um. they’re all real people so none of them belong to me? like at all. title from “Strong.”
Warnings: canon compliant AU in that some people can shapeshift into animals at will; a tiny bit of self-harm tendencies; some internalized self-hatred
Pairings: Louis Tomlinson/Harry Styles
Rating: PG/13
Wordcount: 610
Point of view: third person
Prompt: RPF, Harry Styles/Louis Tomlinson, Valentine's Day tradition.

Note: follows this, which is a canon compliant shapeshifting AU I’ll never finish. This is a timestamp set in 2017.

( free at last. )


Title: love songs painted on skin
Disclaimer: they belong to themselves
Warnings: AU where 1D never happened
Pairings: Harry Styles/Louis Tomlinson
Rating: PG
Wordcount: 940
Point of view: third
Prompt: RPF, Louis Tomlinson/Harry Styles, 'Sometimes, your soulmate and the love of your life don’t end up being the same person. And that’s something I had to learn the hard way.’ Au


( Soulmarks are a private, personal thing. )




Untitled
Prompt: any, any, I Don't Feel It Anymore
Written: August 12, 2016

( I loved you once. )



Title: watching
Disclaimer: not my characters
Warnings: pre-series
Rating: PG
Wordcount: 215
Point of view: third
Prompt: Highlander:the series, Methos, Four Horsemen

( One of Adam Pierson's friends has a question. )

Are there actually people who don't live in constant pain? What's that like? I can't remember.

So, I've apparently written quite a few poems about my family members - far more than I actually remember writing. But here is one of the best, about/for my little sister. I can't believe I wrote it 7 years ago, wow.

Is there anyone who has the time or desire to read 57000 words of a One Direction RPF WIP and then talk it over with me so I can try to finish it?